Day 24 of my September challenge.
I saw some things this weekend that I will be haunted by for a long time.
I have been keeping journals for more than 17 years and they come in handy for a variety of reasons.
It is really nice looking back on some memories, it is great remembering when stuff actually happened, and it is helpful in coming up with blog topics.
So on this date in 2005, I proudly present an event I will never forget because it was a bachelor party like none other. The title of this entry was called, "He Ate A Flippin' Snake."
On Friday, I went to a bachelor party for a friend of mine and it appeared to be a normal party.
Lots of beer, booze, cards, food, etc.
But then it happened, it would be the jar of vodka that was broken out.
There was something special about this vodka.
First, it was from India, and second, it had a 4-foot-long King Cobra snake fermenting in the vodka.
This would be India's version of the tequila worm.
I have never seen a King Cobra before, and I sure as shit have never seen one in a giant jar of vodka.
So the bottle gets passed around but I do not partake because for some odd reason the thought of drinking this vodka is not appealing to me.
So as the night progresses, boys will be boys, and someone pulls the snake out of the jar and starts chasing people around with it.
I mean the snake is dead so what's the harm, but it is still creepy seeing a nasty, badass-looking snake coming toward you. Then someone says the fateful words, "I bet you $100 you won't eat that snake."
The house is suddenly quiet as everyone stops dead in their tracks to make sure they heard what they think they did. The silence is broken by a "Fuck ya I will."
Fueled by liquid courage, the brave soul takes the snake out to the barbecue and cooks the vermin for a good 10 minutes, and then brings well-done King Cobra inside for everyone to witness a vile moment I will never forget.
He takes the snake's head and just starts eating and eating and eating.
It was so gross. But, hey he got $100.
Oh, but there is more.
Oh, but there is more.
Some of the older gentlemen at the party heard that the bachelor of honor did not want adult entertainment and they thought that was a sack of bullshit.
So they get on the horn and ordered some strippers for the evening.
Now, I have been to enough bachelor parties to know that one of the keys to having a successful evening is having quality entertainment.
And that means doing some due diligence and investing some time to find good strippers.
Well, the older gentleman placed his call at 6:30 on Friday evening during the party, and the strippers arrived at 9:30 that evening.
So can you only imagine what we saw?
I am not going to be a complete pig and degrade these women, but let's just say that they should consider a job where are they required to keep their clothes on.
Talk to you tomorrow.
I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.
Oh my god. The snake story will haunt me forever. The smart people would have been out the door before the strippers got there, IMHO.
ReplyDeleteThere were a lot of dummies by the time the strippers arrived
DeleteOh, huge ICK on the snake eating stunt. A hundred bucks ain't enough even back in 2005.
ReplyDeleteNot enough money in the world
DeleteI have just two questions.
ReplyDelete1. Did the snake taste like likkered up chicken?
2. What was more traumatizing, the snake or the strippers?
See, I don't ask for much.
Not sure and the snake.
DeleteSo much to ‘digest’ here. First, what the hell kind of friends do you have??? This is completely bizarre. However, you are completely redeemed in my eyes for the use of the word ‘horn’ in this story. LMAO!
ReplyDeleteFraternity brothers mostly so that should explain a lot. The good old horn. Not used much these days. At least not to mean a telephone.
DeleteFortunately I have never cared for vodka or tequila! About the worst I've had was some drink with supposed gold flakes floating around in it. My money would be that the person who ate the Cobra spent the following day hung over and cramping.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't in the best shape or mood the following day
DeleteI would never drink from a bottle with a snake. Never.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I'm just saying, the snake may have been more entertaining than the entertainment?
Good life philosophy and yes
Deleteoh kay.....I'm pretty sure the guy who ate the snake was from Texas..and...........man men are disgusting.
ReplyDeleteNorthern Idaho, which is like Texas for us Idahoans
DeleteOh that is really gross!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely
DeleteOMG, the snake story and then the strippers. I don't want to imagine either one of them!
ReplyDeleteSorry
DeleteI just met a man who used to be a male stripper. Showed me a picture of his formerly handsome self. Funny what age and booze do for you.
ReplyDeleteI imagine
DeleteThe stripper at my older brother's bachelor party was the cutest little blonde. She did her thing and hightailed it out. Six months later when I had my bachelor party, I was not so lucky.
ReplyDeleteBetter luck next time
DeleteAt least he cooked it, ha.
ReplyDelete