Great Balls

Almost all of you guessed #1 on my little quiz last week. 
And that was the wrong answer. 
Mr. Van Halen did get some panties tossed his way by yours truly. 
I can't believe you didn't remember me writing about that almost 14 years ago. 

I am sure that's why Van Halen has never returned to Boise, Idaho.
#2 was actually the lie. 
I have never hung out on the street corner handing out lemons wearing a "Life" shirt. 
But it's something I definitely want to do. 
You would think that me admitting that I threw turd-stained underwear on stage at a concert would be the worst thing you would read about on my blog today.
You would be wrong.
I present this:

Just when you think things can't get any more disturbing on the third rock from the Sun.
Seriously, what in the wide world of fudge is going with people?
Is the point where we have jumped the shark as a species?
As a species, do human beings need a new predator to take us out?
Have we been at the top of the food chain too long? 
Bloody hell. 
I am typing the words "doggie scrotal decoration." 
This isn't good.

You could have some fun with the advertising or headlines I guess:
"Go Nuts" 
"A Whole New Ball Game"
"Deck The Balls" 
"If These Balls Could Talk" 
"The Balls In Your Court" 
"Totes Amazeballs" 
"Foul Balls"

Here's a link to the article if you want to read more about it.

Thanks for swinging by. I will talk to you soon. 

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 


  1. ak ak ak! Those folks should have
    all their private parts glittered!

  2. No, no, no, no, no. Most of what's sold is not edible, just decorative, and anyone who would use it for any reason may not know the difference.

  3. I hope no dog ever shows up at my door with sparkly balls!

  4. I have no words for people who would do that to their pet.

    Ahh, yes I do. I have a couple of words. Complete idiots.

    Now the little story about the underpants . . . um. . . I have no words for that.

  5. Ye Gods! I shall spend the next few hours dreaming up disgusting things for some sections of the human race.

  6. First of all, I don't think I can blame Van Halen for never returning. Teenagers. Keep this in mind when yours reach that loveliest of ages, which is the prelude to "Please find your own place". It's my theory that God made teenagers disgusting and annoying enough that you push them out of the nest, when they're capable of keeping a job of course. :-)

    Glitter on testicles. I cry.

  7. I can't bring myself to click on the link. Decorated cat balls aren't a thing cuz those little effers would claw the shit out of you if you tried to 'balljazzle' them.

  8. No sorry but you throwing shitty pants on stage is far worse than glittery balls.

  9. My memory is pretty solid, but you threw me a curveball there.
    And now I'm glad my dog is neutered.


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