Friday, January 27, 2017

What Did Ms. Frizzle Eat This Week?

Your shoes? What are shoes?
I'm only a puppy and incapable of doing anything like that.
I'm man's best friend and I only want to bring you joy.
But, seriously, I should be able to open up those closet doors in about a month or two and those shoes are toast. I can't wait to get my paws on those suckers.
I'm probably going to bury them in 12 feet of snow just because that sounds like fun and I also like it when you say "God dammit" a lot.
Have a nice day, dummy.


I have a feeling it will be easier to write an update titled "What Didn't Ms. Frizzle Eat This Week?"
The yellow-bellied beast has all of her adult teeth coming in right now and boy, oh boy is that fun.
I think I might be mispronouncing "for the love all that is holy, Ms. Frizzle is going to be living in a van down by the river soon."
Isn't that how you say fun?
I have never been good with English. It's so tricky.
Part of me wonders if we have welcomed the "Fat Bastard" character from the "Austin Powers" movies into our abode. For those of you unfamiliar with my reference, Fat Bastard is a morbidly obese henchman from Scotland trying to destroy the aforementioned Mr. Powers. And in one of his more memorable scenes, he does this:


Here's a list of the Frizzle casualties for the week:
  • Several rolls of toilet paper
  • Stick of butter
  • Popsicle stick house
  • Floss sticks
  • Dominoes 
  • My tears 
  • Stuffed animals 
  • Ski goggles 
  • Shoes
  • Double sided ... wait for it ... tape. =) 
  • A bag of leaves
  • Earrings
  • The last piece of pizza 
  • A lint roller brush
  • Plastic cups
  • A bag of trash 
  • Mrs. Shife's patience 
  • Stuffed animals 
  • And a partridge in a pear tree (OK. Not really. But it just felt right adding this to this list?)

But I think we'll keep her.
Kyle seems to kind of like her. 



Thanks for stopping by.
Talk to you soon.


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 





9 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

Ah, the joys of puppyhood. At six Abby still
eats pencils and scissors (handles) and squirrels
if caught (thankfully rarely).
Sally had an English teacher who would point at
students, who were not prepared, "You, down to the
river."
xoxoxoxo to all.

jenny_o said...

Oh dear ... and I thought it was bad that one of our cats destroys cardboard boxes (but nothing else) ...

I assume Ms Frizzle laughs at your attempts to distract her with chew toys? Yeah, I thought so.

Well, do like you did with the kids - put everything up where she can't reach it. Well, maybe not the leaves and trash. Everything else. Good luck cause I can tell you need it.

Stephen Hayes said...

That picture is adorable, but you,be reminded me of why we,be yet to replace our late pooch.

kden said...

Oh Dear! I think you better get your Vet his own tv show like Dr. Pol, because then you could be famous for all the office visits you have to make for the things she ingests.

Jon said...

I could supply you with a comparable list of our dear dog, Alvin, has eaten. It's a good thing he's cute.

Valerie said...

But you still love her, right? Having had the same experiences makes me .... want another labrador.
Smiled all the way through this post, Matt, and I needed it so thanks.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Cute puppy! He's like a mountain goat, eating everything in site. Remember that cartoon where the goat eats everything?

"Billy boy, boy, boy, boy . . ."

https://youtu.be/xqYQJv_uG7o

LL Cool Joe said...

And this is probably the reason we don't have a dog. Plus I'm scared of them. I know, what a wuz.

E. Rosewater said...

sounds like everything is going as it should with miss frizzle.

ruby ate a bag of grass and crapped a chia pet and then ate a box of brownie mix and produced chocolate syrup. but as tony soprano said, this is the life we chose.