Mentally I was in a bit of a funk and I felt a lot like this:
Thank you for being supportive. It really does mean a lot.
Well, I knew this couldn't continue and I also knew I didn't want this to continue so I decided to get my shit together and fight Tobias.
Saturday - I acknowledged that I wasn't in a happy place and I needed help. I meditated, used essential oils (doTerra wild orange) and upped my diazepam (valium) dosage. I didn't want to do any of this, but I made myself because it had to be done if I was going to get over this bout of depression.
Sunday - I felt better. I continued with the meditation, essential oils, and diazepam. I also know giving and gratitude can make you feel better. I donated to some charities and bought some Christmas presents.
Monday - Clutter is a major trigger for my anxiety and that can eventually spiral into my depression. I had emails from 2004. I had more than 3,000 emails just sitting in my inbox doing nothing but driving me nuts because they are just sitting there taking up space. Bye bye emails. I have 10 emails in my inbox right now. And that number will be cut in half when some packages are delivered. I continued with the meditation, essential oils, and diazepam
Tuesday - My Twitter account was also a hot mess. I followed more than 1,500 people just because they followed me back. However, they brought nothing to the table for me and were just clogging up my Twitter feed with stuff I didn't care about. Bye bye Twitter followers. My list of followers is now under 300 and it's a joy to go through my news feed because I actually get information that I find interesting and useful. I continued with the meditation, essential oils, and diazepam
Wednesday - I went out with some friends to have a few beers. I hadn't been out in a long time with friends. I knew I was starting to feel better because I wanted to go out and meet them. A week ago, I would have made up an excuse as to why I couldn't meet them. I continued with the meditation, essential oils, and diazepam.
Thursday - I have bills. You have bills. If you are like me, you probably wish you didn't have bills. Well, I can't change the fact that I have bills, but I can take control of them. We have bills due on the 1st, the 10th, the 15th, the 24th, etc. Not anymore. They are all now due on the 5th. I pay everything on one day and I'm done with it. Just getting everything squared away on one day takes some stress out of my life. I continued with the meditation, essential oils, and diazepam.
Friday - There are 86,400 seconds in a day. I don't get them back. They don't collect interest. Once they are gone, they are gone. I can either get busy making the most out of that time or just exist. I don't want to exist or survive. I want to thrive. I'm going to make my seconds count. I continued with the meditation and essential oils. I scaled back on the diazepam because it can become addictive.
Well, that's been my week.
I took a look in the mirror and decided Mr. Shife needed to get busy living.
It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows, but I'm going to fight because I want to be happy and I fucking deserve to be happy.
Thanks for listening and thanks for stopping by.
Have a wonderful weekend and Merry Christmas.
The books have been claimed. Thanks everyone.
I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.