Friday, December 02, 2016

Random Acts of Shifeness: Grandpa's Coming to Town

  • My dad is coming to town. He recently retired and is ready to enjoy not working. It will be nice to see him. I'm sure he's wishing his oldest son would have chosen to live in a more tropical locale as Boise in December isn't tank top weather. 
  • The tree is up. We might have to hang it from the ceiling so it makes it to Christmas. As you can imagine, Ms. Frizzle thinks it's a giant chew toy. And I'm glad to announce that Ms. Frizzle has added Christmas ornaments to her diet. She might change her mind about her dietary choices after one of the ornaments make it through her system. 
  • I got a really good deal on a bag of clementines. Some days you really have to count your blessings. Thank you, Fred Meyer for the incredible savings. Some days you also hope that they will invent sarcastic font to remove all doubt that I was being facetious. 
  • Quote of the week: If plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters - 204 if you're in Japan. - Claire Cook
  • Joke of the week: It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

  • Recommendation of the week: Towel shopping at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. So, so much fun. Did I mention that someone needs to invent a sarcastic font? It's really going to be fun when Mrs. Shife tells me she doesn't like them and I get to take them back. I am a man with only a few admirable qualities and towel shopping is definitely not one of them. 

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you soon.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

9 comments:

John Gray said...

Loved it ....eclectic as it was

the dogs' mother said...

We knew Christmas was over when Abby and Tar
broke the tree in half (6 mo. old puppies).
Now we just have to keep in mind the world's
biggest Labrador's tail - he is three inches
above breed standard and 125 lbs.

Jon said...

Having a dog in the house was a concern this Christmas with the tree. Thankfully, he has shown zero interest. Good luck with yours though.
And I loved the joke. Definitely reading that one to my wife.

Stephen Hayes said...

They're all at the funeral! Ha!! Love it.

jenny_o said...

Also hopefully Ms Frizzle will not consider the Christmas tree a "regular" tree by which I mean a doggy bathroom ...

Hope your dad has a good visit. And that your towels meet with approval.

kden said...

That clementine picture is great! I don't think we ever had a problem with our dog and the tree. But cats....a whole different story. Enjoy the time with your dad.

LL Cool Joe said...

You see this is what online shopping is for, so you don't have to leave your house and walk round shops for hours choosing towels that will be have to be returned anyway. Buy online and return them for free. :D

Valerie said...

I have never dared put up a real tree.... dogs and cats, you know. Loved this weeks post, you certainly know how to make me laugh. Keep up the good work.

E. Rosewater said...

you got me smilin with the christmas tree story, ruby pulled a few down.

i think the man made the right decision going to the world cup game.