Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 23

Let's talk about "Things That Sort Of Keep Me Up At Night If I Devoted Time & Energy To It."
It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but "Things That Keep Me Up At Night" is exactly truthful and I really don't want to sully our blogging relationship with lies.
TTSOKMUANIIDT&DTI is a horrible acronym also.
And that's why it's "Things That Sort Keep Me Up At Night If I Devoted Time & Energy To It."
  • Large police officers. And by large I don't mean they have 24-inch biceps more like a 54-inch gut. How do they catch people in a foot pursuit? 
  • If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or the vampire a zombie? 
  • If the same person holds two consecutive doors for you, is it common courtesy to say thank you twice? This feels like a question for my Canadian users because I think Canadians would say yes and Americans would say it once. Let me know Mr. E. Rosewater. 
  • What if my alarm clock doesn't go off in the morning? Wait ... did I set my alarm clock? Wait ... I'm already up because I'm thinking about things that sort of keep me up at night if I devoted time & energy to it. I guess I can just set my alarm clock. 
  • This picture because I wish I would have thought of it before today. 

  • The obsession with rats and their asses. How did the phrase "I don't give a rat's ass" become common among us Americans. Or is this just a regional thing like the Northwest? 
  • When will I get the chance to tell someone that I ate an entire bowl of alphabet soup and I can crap out a smarter statement than what they just said? 
  • Will you laugh if told you that someone asked me if I fell, and I said, "No, I just attacked the floor."? 
  • How many new friends I could make if I texted random numbers at night and said, "You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. P.S. I love you."?

Thanks for stopping by. I will talk to you tomorrow.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 






4 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

Under the bed there is enough dog hair to construct a whole new dog.

Jon said...

Like George Carlin said, "These are the things I think about when the power goes off". I'm amazed at the things that our new dog has brought out from under our bed.

E. Rosewater said...

it's our custom to say thanks for the first door and then give an appreciative nod for the second door. of course it's gets a lot more elaborate if an attractive member of the opposite sex holds the door in mating season.

Valerie said...

I'm grateful to Mr Rosewater for putting my mind at rest. Oh the times I've wondered about thanking people more than once. Mind you, I never let it disturb my sleep. I actually enjoyed reading this post, Matt.