It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but "Things That Keep Me Up At Night" is exactly truthful and I really don't want to sully our blogging relationship with lies.
TTSOKMUANIIDT&DTI is a horrible acronym also.
And that's why it's "Things That Sort Keep Me Up At Night If I Devoted Time & Energy To It."
- Large police officers. And by large I don't mean they have 24-inch biceps more like a 54-inch gut. How do they catch people in a foot pursuit?
- If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or the vampire a zombie?
- If the same person holds two consecutive doors for you, is it common courtesy to say thank you twice? This feels like a question for my Canadian users because I think Canadians would say yes and Americans would say it once. Let me know Mr. E. Rosewater.
- What if my alarm clock doesn't go off in the morning? Wait ... did I set my alarm clock? Wait ... I'm already up because I'm thinking about things that sort of keep me up at night if I devoted time & energy to it. I guess I can just set my alarm clock.
- This picture because I wish I would have thought of it before today.
- The obsession with rats and their asses. How did the phrase "I don't give a rat's ass" become common among us Americans. Or is this just a regional thing like the Northwest?
- When will I get the chance to tell someone that I ate an entire bowl of alphabet soup and I can crap out a smarter statement than what they just said?
- Will you laugh if told you that someone asked me if I fell, and I said, "No, I just attacked the floor."?
- How many new friends I could make if I texted random numbers at night and said, "You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. P.S. I love you."?