Also, I received my first bad book review on Amazon and I took it amazingly well. By amazingly, I mean I created a fake account so I could give myself a positive review to balance out the negative one. I'm so mature sometimes. Anyway, I didn't go through with the fake review and just thought I would ask you - yes you - to leave me one if you have read my book. Here's the LINK to the review if you wouldn't mind helping out. Please and thank you.
From the Mr. Shife archives:
- Leave this comment on porn sites: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."
- Like my Grandma said, "If you don't have sweat in your crack, then you aren't doing it right."
- Let's go on that camping trip that we never talked about.
- First I was dying to finish high school and start college. Then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work. But then I was dying to retire. Now I'm just dying. And suddenly I realized I forgot to live. Appreciate your current situation and enjoy each day.
- Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. I think I might be camping tonight because of this picture but I found it pretty funny:
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
- Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
- You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
- One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- We’re gonna have a hard time ever being happy if we aren’t thankful for what we already have.
- If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
- And some funny gifs I found in my electronic archives. Wouldn't it be great if we had no selfie zone and this is how we could enforce it if someone thought they were above the law.
- And I hope you don't see any mean old pussycats this weekend.
Have a good weekend.
I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.