Friday, July 12, 2013

Revenge Of The Basset

I did a search on the Google machine for "dogs don't hold grudges.
First result "Forgiveness: Why Dogs Don't hold Grudges."
Bull shit.
Whoever wrote this has not been owned by a basset hound.
They most certainly do and here is my evidence.

Our old basset hound, Quincy, used to sleep in the bed with Mrs. Shife and I.
One of our routines before we called it a night was for Captain Furry Pants to lay on my chest while I rubbed his ears so we could discuss how our days went.
Really deep stuff like how many times did he lick himself in the swimsuit area and how jealous I was that I did not possess his skills. 
One night I brought my computer into bed with me. I put the computer on my chest and proceeded to watch a movie until I got sleepy. 
I had the power cord plugged in so it was on the floor running from the outlet to the bed. 
Quincy did not seem to mind and just went underneath the covers to get his beauty rest.
The next morning I woke up and it stunk. 
There was no mistaking this smell as someone had dropped a massive deuce in our bedroom.
Definitely don't recommend this form of aroma therapy to start your day.
I immediately reached down and checked myself to make sure I did not lose control of my bowels in the middle of the night. 
Whew. It wasn't me. 
Hey stranger things have happened to me and I was just following the skunk smells its own hole first philosophy.
I knew it wasn't Mrs. Shife because princesses don't do that. 
Did Quincy shit the bed? 
I lift up the covers but no piles of poop in the bed.
I get up to investigate but I don't need my chief inspector badge to solve this crime against humanity.
Right on the power cord is a big, pile of crap.
Evidently the fat basset got out of bed sometime after midnight and showed me precisely how he felt about me bringing a computer into the bedroom. 
I clean up the mess. 
I was a little perplexed that Quincy would take a dump in the house but I just assumed he had an accident. 
Everyone goes about their day and it is nighttime.
I bring the computer to bed with me once more and again Quincy did not seem to mind. 
All is well until I wake up and I a get big whiff of deja poo.
I immediately look down on the floor and there it is ... another huge pile of doggie doo-doo right on the power cord.
Message received loud and clear Quincy.
The old dog taught me a new trick.
The computer never came to bed with me again and the fat basset never pooped in our bedroom again.


 photo Quincy002.jpg

Here is a picture of Quincy dog doing what he did best, and that is making sure the couch doesn't run off. He was the best couch anchor ever. 







I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 








10 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

I know you miss him. He was a good dog.

John Bain said...

I just find myself being happy he didn't piss on the plug! A funny post this. Thanks, and have a good weekend.

Jon said...

Yes, that dog knew exactly what he was doing. My parents had one that would vomit on command on their pillows if they left town for too long. Cats aren't much better. I feel there's more spite involved with them.

kden said...

Well good thing he wasn't jealous of Mrs. Shife. Funny story.

Valerie said...

God bless the Basset for knowing when and where to strike. It was judgement for ignoring him in his time of need. Sleep time. Ah but Clancy was a lovely dog, I bet you forgave him quite quickly.

texlahoma said...

I agree, dogs do hold grudges. When I was a kid we had a Basenji that would protest by peeing on my parent's bed.
She was a show dog, I thought it was a funny title when she won "Best Bitch".

billy pilgrim said...

ruby holds grudges big time. she used to chew the insoles out of the wife's shoes when she felt snubbed. of course when no one was looking i'd acknowledge her good judgement.

i probably would have got a little cranky with mr furry pants.

Aries said...

Hahah will take note of this. My dog is calm and quiet at most time until one of us open the gate to the garden and he will go round chasing flies, bugs, lizards etc. Got a strong feeling he is protecting us from insects. Gotta teach him to protect us from robbers etc instead. Dogs sure does the darnest thing.

Phats said...

Ha dogs are so awesome he was definitely sending you a msg

Robert Morschel said...

Your post reminded me of a joke. Two guys watching a dog lick its balls. The one says to the other, "I wish I could do that." The other say, "You might want to ask permission first." :)