Friday, June 07, 2013

Put Your Penis Away

Do I have your attention?
It has taken more than 40 years but I think I might have found my calling in life. It is to make sure the penis remains fully clothed in the sink/grooming area of the men's locker room at gyms.


I don't know what the technical term is for the sink/grooming area but it is the place that looks like the above picture and it is separate from the locker room where you change your clothes and what not. So the locker room is fine if you want to hang out with your wang out but once you start heading towards those sinks it is time to wrap up.

Why has this become my calling?

Well I recently saw things that cannot be unseen, and being the humanitarian that I am I don't want another dude to have to experience the same pain and suffering I endured.

I recently wrote a note on Facebook to a friend of mine whose family owns the gym where I get work out: Please install eye wash stations at Idaho Athletic Club so I can try and wash away the trauma my eyeballs just endured this morning in the men's locker room. I really did not need to see the older gentleman who has not skipped many meals shaving while he is completely naked. Or at least give me a free counseling session so I can talk to someone about the nightmares I am going to have. Have a nice day.


After reaching out to my friend, I heard from him and several others about some of the other naked hijinks that go on in the sink/grooming area. I guess some dudes like to blow dry their pubes or do sit-ups or manscape their private parts.

Maybe I am strange but I go to the gym to work out and that is about it. I am not there to showcase my dong like I am competing on everyone'e least favorite reality show "Meet My Penis."

When I come to the sink to wash my hands after going to the bathroom I don't want to wash my ocular cavities as well because someone is drying their chesticles with an Asian silk hand fan in their birthday suit. So for the love of husky hounds, your penis ... put it away.

Dudes are weird.

Thank you for listening.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

9 comments:

John Bain said...

You made me laugh with this. I am working on my body so that I can pose more freely and without causing embarrassment in the changing room.

Valerie said...

Yes, I would be quite disturbed to see the sights in that kind of environment. Not that I ever go in gents areas, you understand, but one never knows when they paint gents/ladies doors the same colour that I might find myself facing such a predicament. Hmm I'm sure the last word is spelt incorrectly. Should there be a K in it somewhere? *grins*

Jon said...

I am glad that I don't ever go to a friend gym. Sorry for the trauma, but I'll help chip in for therapy when it's time.

Jon said...

*friend's. Stupid autocorrect.

Jon said...

Okay, blogger somehow ditched my original comment. In summary, I'm glad that I never go to a gym. The last comment? Just ignore it. Unless it somehow returns.

Ms. Moon said...

Men are weird. (So are women, but that's another story.)

billy pilgrim said...

i remember taking the kids to swimming lessons and there always being some big fat asshole walking around naked in the change room for 10 minutes in front of all the kids.

if i only had a taser back then the world would be a better place.

(i'm fine, it's a work)

texlahoma said...

"You never know just how you look through other people's eyes."

silly rabbit said...

Its an invasion of personal eye space. Ew. But I did laugh.