Friday, May 31, 2013

Random Acts of Shifeness


  • I do not recommend the diarrhea diet. I got a visit from the mud butt fairy on Wednesday and I am down almost eight pounds. Not sure what kind of bug I picked up but I have had enough of it and look forward to the situation getting solidified soon. 
  • Do you think it is a coincidence that my body had a severe case of the mudslides after my doctor told me that it would be good idea to cut back on my caffeine intake? I have been drinking copious amounts of caffeine since I was a teenager so my body might have been a little upset with the news. 
  • Tank got himself a new middle name. Kyle has been calling him Tank Elise. Why Elise? Well Kyle is related to someone with that middle name and thought it made a good combination with Tank. Mrs. Shife and I get a good chuckle every time we hear it because Tank is a fairly masculine name and Elise is not. 
  • School is out for summer. Kyle finished up his first year of pre-school and I am a little sad for selfish reasons. I kind of enjoyed that two-hour break twice a week from the big guy because I actually got some stuff done while he was gone. 
  • This quote from Jase on Duck Dynasty made me LOL: "There’s probably 12 women in the world, probably ex-cons, who look at me and say hey, yeah, that’s worth a shot."
  • Another quote I heard – and I would rather not say where because it is embarrassing to admit I watched this show – "Get the kids in the house. She's a shooter." Nothing funny about that, right? Because I have a dirty mind, I changed it to "Get the kids in the house. She's a squirter." in my head. I have watched too many episodes of "Californication." 



  • Hayden and Kyle doing some digging in the sand box.  Well it is only Kyle digging 
    as Hayden took time out to pose for the camera. 






    I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

    12 comments:

    Kenneth Noisewater said...

    Sorry to hear about the shits, but congrats on the weight loss! Very cute family. You sound like the Shifiest dad around. Is shife like how the Smurfs use the word smurf where it can be used in any way you see fit?

    Mr. Shife said...

    Thanks Dr. Ken, and I do believe you are on to something with the Shife/Smurf thing.

    Valerie said...

    I hope the solid phrase comes soon, Matt.... smiles.

    Smiled at Kyle's new name for Tank. Aren't kids the most amusing creatures? Hayden is good at posing, so keep snapping. Hope your weekend goes well.

    Red said...

    Best diarrhea cure: Soak a handful of rice, drain it, then drink the water. Works every time.

    texlahoma said...

    Doctors are overrated, their egos are overinflated, they only have as much power as you give them, enjoy your caffeine.

    Being a caffeine addict myself, I can tell you, kicking it never gave me the shizzling drits, but it sure gave me a headache from hell.

    Mr. Shife said...

    Thanks Val and thank you Red for the diarrhea remedy. It sounds disgusting but I am willing to give it a shot.
    Hi ya texlahoma. I agree and that is why I am just cutting back on my caffeine. Not ready to end that relationship anytime soon.

    billy pilgrim said...

    i'm with tex on the caffeine. i get a headache but nothing else. drinking coffee is the highlight of my day and i can't afford to lose any highlights.

    might i suggest buying mrs shife a bidet for her birthday.

    kden said...

    Hope you feel better soon, I must say I haven't been in that state in many years.

    Wait until Kyle starts school full time, you'll really miss him. I remember really mourning the loss of nap time.

    Love the look on Hayden's face :-)

    Phats said...

    how much caffeine have you cut out? I wouldn't recommend that diet either

    Jay Noel said...

    I hate the Mud Butt Fairy.

    I hope you're feeling better by now. Wait until Kyle starts full time school. It will be both awesome and sad.

    Phats said...

    Hello Shife still in the crapper :)

    Jon said...

    My dad has a cousin who has been referred to as "David Anne" for about 50 years because everyone else in the family, save for his father, has that as their middle name. I'm sure he would sympathize with Tank.