Friday, May 10, 2013

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • I was informed by Kyle this week that he didn't love me because I didn't let him have everything he wants. He is really going to be upset when he finds out that I water down his juice. =) 
  • He also told Tank that he didn't love him because he was not wearing his collar and therefore naked. It is a hard knock life for dogs who like to shed their collars and just be free in the Shifley household.
  • Kyle told me a joke. I am sure he picked it up from one of his cartoons but he told it perfectly and it made me laugh. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it is too far to walk. 
  • He told me another one today: Why do chickens sit on their eggs? Because they don't have chairs. 
  • I never thought I would complain about 9 pm softball games but they are rough especially if I have to get up early with the little ones the next morning. I have been doing a lot of stretching and coke to help me feel better in the morning. Just kidding. I don't do any stretching. =) 
  • In case you are worried, I have not starting doing coke either. I never had an interest in the hardcore drugs. I just knew it was not my thing and didn't need to try any of them to find out. Sometimes you have to go with you gut on things. I have never had a dominatrix squish my testicles with high heels but again I know me, and me doesn't need to experience that to know I would not like it. 
  • Recently watched "Fight Club" again. Great movie. For some reason this quote by Tyler Durden was stuck in my head today: "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
  • I don't watch "Jeopardy" at all anymore but I would definitely turn on the tube if they had a category called The Right to Bear Little Arms and all the answers were movies that had a T-Rex or two in it. 
  • Happy Mother's Day to all you fabulous and wonderful ladies out there. You are awesome especially the mother of my two amazing little kiddos, Mrs. Shife. 



  • Kyle tearing it up on on his tricycle at his pre-school. And yes he is wearing a "Cars" bicycle helmet in case you were wondering. He was glad that it had Lightning McQueen on it but it was more important to him that his helmet was red - his favorite color. 

    13 comments:

    Valerie said...

    Yea, see the little fella go. I bet Kyle gets a lot out of life at pre-school.

    Aren't they funny when they start cracking jokes and weighing up what they love or hate?

    Happy Mother's Day to your lovely wife. Make it a good one for her. We had our MD a few weeks back in the UK but I don't mind celebrating it again with my best blogging friends :o)

    Mr. Shife said...

    Hi Val. We love his pre-school and so does he. I get a lot out of it too as being a teacher-helper once a month helps me learn some new things about the little people. Thanks for the Mother's Day wishes and hope yours was a good one.

    kden said...

    Having a red Cars helmet should totally make up for you obviously being a bad father for not letting him have everything he wants, ha. Too cute.

    Mr. Shife said...

    You would think so, huh? Thanks kden.

    CrystalChick said...

    Aw, sweet picture. Looks like Kyle has good fun at his pre-school! Cool helmet! Our grandson is 6 and in Kindergarten. He loves it! Well, when he's not in trouble for doing his own thing.

    Hope your Mrs. has a lovely Mother's Day.

    billy pilgrim said...

    i'd love you 24/7 if you were my dad.

    by the way, how are the testicles?

    Mr. Shife said...

    Thank you CrystalChick. Hope you have a great Mother's Day as well. Your grandson sounds a lot like Kyle.

    Mr. Shife said...

    Hi ya BP. The boys are good and my testicles are not too shabby either. =)

    texlahoma said...

    My daughter went through a stage of "I don't love you."
    We kicked her out of the house for few days, it worked, she quit saying that!
    Not really of course. She used it on her Mom the most because she could tell it bothered her the most. Seems like that was about the age when she liked ketchup on Pop-Tarts.

    Jay Noel said...

    I love kid jokes. Especially when they laugh in the middle of it and can't finish telling it.

    I used to play tennis at a clue at 8 PM, wouldn't get home until almost 11. When we got kid #3, that had to stop.

    Kyle looks like he's tearing it up on the track!

    Phats said...

    First off happy mother's day to mrs shife!

    Second- you sure Kyle isn't calling a 900 joke line?? Your phone bill might be interesting :)

    Aries said...

    Your kid looks adorable. I remember when my 2 sons (now teenagers) were in kindergarden, they would come home and tell me stuffs that sometime makes my jaw drop, they sure were funny then. Once I remembered my eldest who was 4 then, he came home from pre-school and told me there was a bully in school. An Indian boy who is double in size of everyone in the class. Asked if that boy ever hurt him, he smile to me and said "don't worry mum, I know how to tackle such situation" A week later he told me he did something great that day. He saw the bully's dad some to pick his son up, my brave son just walk up to him and said "uncle, do you know that your son is bossing everyone around in school. He is a real bully." Oh my, wonder where he learned all that from. I was quite speechless that day. Kids sure brightens up our day. Happy blogging and parenting to you.

    Jon said...

    Colin isn't doing jokes yet, but he's more into physical comedy so far. If they're this happy, we're doing something right.