You can file this under WTF Friday or Adventures in Potty Training or Things I Never Need to See or Discuss With My Son Again or Is There a Full Moon Tonight? or I Hope My Mom Thinks This is Funny or I Will Laugh About This in a Year or Two But Tonight I Need a Roofie or It Gets Easier Being a Dad, Right? or I Picked The Wrong Week to Quit Sniffing Glue.
So let me paint you a picture. I am walking into the kitchen and as I turn the corner I witness something I was not prepared to witness. And it is definitely not something that was covered in those baby basics classes you take before you meet your bundle of joy or in one of those what to expect when you are expecting books. What are you doing is what I said, but inside I was saying something that would make my Navy boot camp instructor proud.
I saw my 3-year-old preparing to pee on his sister.
Yep, you read that right.
I don't know if in Kyle's mind he thought this would be the most effective way to show Hayden the chain-of-command in the Shifley household or if he is just a a 3-year-old boy being a 3-year-old boy. I am not exactly sure if he would have completed the act since I walked in on him but he was in the locked and loaded position with an all systems are a go look in his eye. I remained as calm as I could be and removed Hayden from the line of fire. Then I reminded my little boy that we don't pee on our sister or any other person, and we only pee in the toilet.
Of all the trials and tribulations I expected raising a boy this definitely was not the list, but then again I never thought I would be raising a little boy so me and him will continue to take it day-by-day and hope his nickname is not Golden Showers in high school.
P.S. No hangover last weekend. Yay me!!
I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.
So let me paint you a picture. I am walking into the kitchen and as I turn the corner I witness something I was not prepared to witness. And it is definitely not something that was covered in those baby basics classes you take before you meet your bundle of joy or in one of those what to expect when you are expecting books. What are you doing is what I said, but inside I was saying something that would make my Navy boot camp instructor proud.
I saw my 3-year-old preparing to pee on his sister.
Yep, you read that right.
I don't know if in Kyle's mind he thought this would be the most effective way to show Hayden the chain-of-command in the Shifley household or if he is just a a 3-year-old boy being a 3-year-old boy. I am not exactly sure if he would have completed the act since I walked in on him but he was in the locked and loaded position with an all systems are a go look in his eye. I remained as calm as I could be and removed Hayden from the line of fire. Then I reminded my little boy that we don't pee on our sister or any other person, and we only pee in the toilet.
Of all the trials and tribulations I expected raising a boy this definitely was not the list, but then again I never thought I would be raising a little boy so me and him will continue to take it day-by-day and hope his nickname is not Golden Showers in high school.
This might have been the look Hayden was giving Kyle when he attempted to mark his territory.
P.S. No hangover last weekend. Yay me!!
I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.
Oh honey. Perfectly normal.
ReplyDeleteAnd remember: Urine is sterile.
Children are little beasts and our job is to tame them.
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ReplyDeletelol! I agree with Ms. Moon 100%. But I am glad that you snagged Hayden in the nick of time...mess averted!
ReplyDeleteJust file all this stuff away... save it all and one day... you will have so many great things to treasure and laugh at once they've grown into lives of their own. It makes great blackmail too!
Oh man, that was a good one.I'm just thinking it's a boy being a boy. I love the picture of Hayden and the look on her face. I've probably even had that face myself, ha.
ReplyDeleteI agree with comment deleted.
ReplyDeleteOh lord. I'll refrain from making any R Kelly jokes. Maybe Colin should stay an only child.
ReplyDeleteHe's just three years of age, Matt. He won't have had an evil thought in his little head. However, you now know the necessity of pointing him in the right direction.
ReplyDeletedid kyle find your secret stash of dvd's?
ReplyDeletehow about last weekend?
I had to laugh.
ReplyDeleteYes! I like this kid. If he starts listening to R Kelly, watch out!
ReplyDeleteThat little Starscream is always up to no good . . .
Ambushed Paddington
ReplyDelete