March Madness - Day 14

For some people March 14 is Pi Day or Steak and BJ Day or just another day in the week. Well for me it is Purple Vibrator Liberation Day. A day that I started celebrating back in 2006. Please read on to see why this 74th day of the year (73rd when it is not a Leap Year) is being observed in the Shifley household.

As kids, we were taught some basic rules to keep us on the straight and narrow. Don't chew gum in class. Don't put the cat in the dryer. And, of course, don't leave your purple vibrator in the middle of the road.
That’s right folks. Somebody evidently forgot the ever-important rule about never leaving your battery-operated boyfriend just laying around the city streets.

So what triggered this public service announcement?
Well Mrs. Shife was walking down the road from our house getting ready for an evening jog when she heard a buzzing sound. Her initial reaction was to look around in people’s yards because everyone knows that is where you keep your mechanical device that is designed to generate vibrations. Well the buzzing got louder and she still could not see where it was coming from … then she looked down. Smack dab in the middle of the street was a purple vibrator gyrating along the gravel for no other reason than to make my wife giggle for 10 minutes. After she composed herself and bid farewell to Deep Purple, Mrs. Shife went for a run and upon her return the device was longer calling our street its home.

After my lovely wife shared this lovely anecdote with me, my first reaction was “Bull Shit” but then I thought there is no way she makes up something like this and I just started laughing as I imagined her making this shocking discovery.

I am not sure if March 14 was Purple Vibrator Liberation Day or if it was sent from the future by a group of individuals spreading love through sexual aides or maybe some kids were just playing a practical joke.

We may never know why a purple vibrator made its way into our lives but we will never forget the joy it brought us.
Good luck wherever you are purple vibrator.
P.S. If you have not done so already, please tell me which story you like the best.

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.


  1. Well I wonder where in the heck it went?!

  2. What a hoot, some people would have died with embarrassment... yes, some

  3. That is way too crazy to have made up. Don't you just wonder the story about why it was there?


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