Friday, August 12, 2011

Don't Worry Be Happy

This is a list you may have seen before - perhaps even on this blog - but I thought it was worth sharing again because I am watching my lovely wife cope with being 7-months-pregnant during the hottest part of the year so it just reminds me that us dudes have it pretty good. Sure there are few things that blow like getting kicked in the junk or not getting off the Titantic first but for the most part men are just happier people because:
  1. What do you expect from such simple creatures?
  2. Your last name stays put.
  3. The garage is all yours.
  4. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  5. Chocolate is just another snack.
  6. You can be President.
  7. You can never be pregnant.
  8. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  10. The world is your urinal.
  11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  12. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  13. Same work, more pay.
  14. Wrinkles add character.
  15. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
  16. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  17. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  18. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  19. One mood all the time.
  20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  21. You know stuff about tanks.
  22. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  23. You can open all your own jars.
  24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  25. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  26. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  27. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  28. You almost never have strap problems in public.
  29. You are unableto see wrinkles in your clothes.
  30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
  31. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  32. You only have to shave your face and neck.
  33. You can play with toys all your life.
  34. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  35. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
  36. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  37. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
  38. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
  39. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
And speaking of dudes, here is picture of my favorite little man taking one of his first leaps into a pool.


10 comments:

Jon said...

Yes, it's pretty good to be a guy. Of course, it's because we have it so good, that we treat our wives so well. Our sympathies to her on the pregnancy in summer. Steph went through that and swore to never let it happen again.

Ms. Moon said...

I love that list. I love the picture of your son even more.

Valerie said...

A few comments....

3. Not in our house
4. Do they?
12. Not in our house!
13. Sore point!

Seven months... time is flying.
Love the picture, did Kyle like the water?

Hope your weekend is good.

billy pilgrim said...

wow, we got a lot of stuff going for us!

or do women have a lot of stuff going against them.

that might explain a lot of stuff.

silly rabbit said...

Ha. Great list! I know the man used to like to tell me that bachelors can't see dust. Now that we're married he's found all the dust bunnies.
I'll add one more for you. If a man gets caught naked, he can usually cover up with a well placed hand... a woman needs and does not have three! (Which I suppose means that if she's attractive and its a man who has walked in on her... he's still the lucky one. Sheesh!)

texlahoma said...

I was taking all those things for granite, it IS good to be a guy.

Kyle looks like he's having a blast.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Yup, Baby Shife and the rest of us dudes have it pretty good.

As for the new baby, I think I have a good name for you this time. I understand Starscream is a little off putting, but what about Flint from G.I. Joe?

Flint Noisewater . . . . I rather like that.

Jaime Leigh said...

LOL this just reminds me that I let my husband get away with way to much...which mean he needs to bring me more choc. =)

On a serious note...I love this post it made me laugh...and laughter is always good!!!

Phats said...

haha this list is good but I am a little ashamed that I can't do some of those things hahaha

Great picture! Good news for your wife summer is almost over!

TOPolk said...

This list speaks the truth. Now I'm going to go eat a steak biscuit and celebrate being a man.