Thursday, February 17, 2011

Best of the Best*

*these choices represent the voices in my head and by no means do these choices intend to offer legal, medical, psychiatric, veterinary, gynecological, archaeological, astronomical, astrological, ontological, paleontological, philosophical, axiological, audiological, bacteriological, mineralogical, criminological, terminological, dermatological, ecclesiastical, campanological, phrenological, phonological, technological, hematological, campanological advice, best choices are subject to change and probably will, and each choice has a sampling error of plus or minus 4 beers.
  • Best made-up phrase - nuclear domestic dispute or nuclear domestic argument. Just do a Google News search for Frankie Muniz and you will see what I am talking about.
  • Best words to have sex this week - Albert and Armageddon = Albertageddon, which is the impending doom fans of the St. Louis Cardinals feel is coming if Mr. Pujols leaves the team next year.
  • Best name for Yao Ming's cat - Meow Ming
  • Best fake book title - It's Not The Size Of The Boat: How To Live A Successful Life With A Micro Penis
  • Best name for your urethra - Franklin
  • Best reason to use those really powerful bathroom hand dryers - You get to see what it would look like if your hands went skydiving.
  • Best quote on a t-shirt - Live your life to the fullest so people don't have to lie at your funeral.
  • Best of DYAC.com - http://damnyouautocorrect.com/5483/a-mothers-love/
  • Best video of a 22-month-old boy watching BBC's "Walk on the Wild Side" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Edu46R7zvk. The video also features the best monkey, lion, and Michael Jackson impression by a 22-month-old boy
  • Best way to say it in Chinese - 大象爆炸式的拉肚子 ・ Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze and that means "The Explosive Diarrhea of an Elephant" which is what I like to wish on douchers who happen to be douchy in my presence.
  • Best place to marry your first cousin - Take your pick. Shocked that Kentucky and West Virginia are so progressive. Here is the linky.


Enjoy the rest of your week and have a great weekend.

17 comments:

Jon said...

It's a good thing I only have roots in West Virginia, and not any living relatives. I think it's actually called "plausible deniability" at this point.

Mr. Shife said...

Whatever you need to tell yourself Jon to get to sleep at night. And you inspired me to change the look of the blog.

Valerie said...

Oh Wow, Kyle is so active now. I just loved that video. Going to watch it again as soon as I've written this. Have a great weekend.

Ms. Moon said...

CHICKEN!!!
Or is it ribs?

radioactive girl said...

He is adorable! I miss having a little one around.

Those auto correct things are hilarious. I have had some happen on mine that I should really have saved just because they make me laugh.

billy pilgrim said...

does the tankster hang around under the table when kyle's eating looking for droppings?

i think albert show leave the cards just because of their steroid tainted hitting coach.

texlahoma said...

On the subject of bathroom hand dryers, I'll never forget looking at the instructions in a public restroom It said:

1 - Push Button

2 - Put hands in front of blowing air

(Someone had scratched in)

3 - Dry hands on pants leg.

The Phoenix said...

How about Yao Ming's cat being named: Yao-Za?

Albert will probably leave my team after this season. I was pissed when the lowball offer was leaked, but if they were offering him a share of the team in addition, it was still a pretty damn good offer.

Mr. Shife said...

@Val - Thank you. He is one busy boy.
@ Ms. Moon - It is chicken. I have no idea what I am going to tell him when he asks me how bok boks become fried bok boks.
@ Radioactive Girl - He is indeed. Keeps me active all day long chasing after him. I am so glad for nap time.
@BP - Yes the Tankster does but he needs to quit it because he is getting too aggressive when it comes to food. Tank is getting some one-on-one time with a trainer here next week to shape up.
@Texlahoma - Nice, and true. Those things never get your hands dry in one setting.
@The Phoenix - I like that cat name a lot. Definitely need to pass this on to Yao. The Cardinals are my team too, and I don't know what I will do if Albert leaves.

Phats said...

haha first off I love the picture that's great!!

I tried one of those hand dryers at a subway had no idea it was going to be that loud haha.

just bob said...

Fried or rotisserie chicken?

Red said...

Best chicken bone evah! HA! SMart boy ;-)

I HATE autocorrect. I'm considering getting a DROID just to see if things improve. Plus folks wouldn't need autocorrect if the damn keyboard keys were more functionally realistic instead of micro-buttons on a screen. Theses cell phone manufacturers need to realize that they can only make stuff so small before the product just becomes a phone in theory only.

BTW, thanks for your suggestion. One of my other readers is taking notes ;-)

Mr. Shife said...

@Phats - Thanks buddy. Go Boilers.
@Just Bob - He used to like the fried but now he is into the rotisserie. I am sure it will be different next week.
@Red - Mrs. Shife just got a Droid but I have not heard her mention if typing is any easier on that phone compared to her iPhone. Look forward to reading more about the ass hat in your class and sweet revenge if you choose that path.

Phats said...

I think you saying Go Boilers was good luck Shife cuz we ROCKED it today

Red said...

>;-)

Terry Joy said...

Just too funny along with a beautiful picture of a beautiful boy!
Terry

Limon Partido said...

Hysterical!!