Thursday, October 28, 2010

Your one-stop shop for inappropriate boners

Sorry I had to break the Random Acts streak and go with something else this week. Actually I don't have much of a post this week because I devoted most of my blogging time being the guest picker for my buddy Phats over at his blog. So if you are interested in what I have to say about football picks you can check it out. And if you do read my picks you will know why I have not made a small fortune as a professional gambler.

So here we are and not too much to write about. I took a look at some of the keywords that bring people to my blog and as always it is quite interesting. Before we begin I am a little disappointed that people are no longer searching for gay swamp butt (yep I am #1 on Google for that search term) or ambushed paddington (#4). I blame it on the tough economy. But here a few of the keywords people do use to end up on my blog:

  1. inappropriate boners - Yep unfortunately not all of our boners are appropriate.
  2. inappropriate erections - Erections can't hide from inappropriateness either.
  3. Baywatch - It is Hofficial. My David Hasselhoff man crush is still paying dividends.
  4. dwarfshank redemption.com - Oh I am so glad I heard the words dwarfshank redemption this year.
  5. Trichophilia - I had to look this one up again.It is a fetish in which one becomes sexually aroused by, or is extremely fond of, human hair; commonly head hair.
  6. horse ass picture - It really is a nice picture if I must say so myself.
  7. inasppropriate boner - This boner is so not suitable that it causes you to misspell inappropriate.
  8. cat farts - I am the definitive source on cat farts. I get quoted all the time whenever there is a breaking news story about cat farts on CNN.
  9. WHITE GUY FARTS - Somebody was either very excited to learn all about white guy farts or they were very angry with them. When you go all caps in your search it is on.
  10. top 10 big boners - I am sensing a trend here. Another search about boners. I wonder what that says about me?
  11. why do guy always say their left nut - People ask the tough questions and only a few of us have the courage to heed that call.
  12. dr phil is dumb - Pretty much self-explanatory.

Well if you just scrolled down to the bottom I don't blame you. Just go ahead and tell me how adorable my little man looks after his battle with ketchup. Some of it actually did make it in his mouth. Have a good one.


13 comments:

Valerie said...

Trichophilia ... one look at my hair and anyone suffering from it would be cured. Instantly and totally. Love, love, love, the little man's picture. He's gorgeoous with or without the ketchup.

PS. Poem at the end of my recent tale was actually the song - You are the sunshine of my life ... (silly man, that's the title of the song) ... which you could actually SING to your lovely wife.

Duck said...

I knew my "top ten big boners" google search was going to come back to haunt me. Fantastic.

Jon said...

After reading the search terms people use to find you, I'm very glad you found me.

radioactive girl said...

The other day I had to explain boners to my boys because their dad has not had "the talk" with either of them and I guess hasn't told them anything that might be going on with them either. That was awesome...if by awesome you substitute the words totally akward.

Your little man is so adorable! I have a picture similar to this with my son and cheetos.

billy pilgrim said...

the little guy looks cuter than cute.

have you taught him to stomp on those little ketchup packets from fast food joints?

Red said...

One of your weirdest posts I must say. Have a Happy Halloween at the Shife house. Don't eat the apples! Some of them can give you a really close shave.

texlahoma said...

"I fight ketchup, ketchup always wins."

Random Chick said...

Dude, start asking for sponsored ads on your blog from Viagra or Cialis. A 4 hour boner could just make you lots of money!

Toddler Shife won the battle of ketchup. I can tell.

Phats said...

this blog post was just great all around, got a shout out thanks for that, made me laugh, needed that, and a cute picture at the end.

Thanks for guest picking GO VANDALS!

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Gorilla Bananas said...

You're an expect on cat farts? I'm impressed. It must take a lot of dedication to keep your nose near a cat's anus. How do they compare with human farts?

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Funny Jokes said...

Cute baby!
That's nice posting.