Bullet Points from a Dumb, White Guy

  • Just curious. Do dogs only ride shotgun in America? I know I have a few visitors that don't call the USA home so I was wondering if dogs in your country ride in the front seats of cars or if this is just an American thing?
  • Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?
  • Are you familiar with the term bathroom song? If a band is playing a song you don't like then it is the perfect time to go to the bathroom. I do this a lot at concerts but never called it anything special.
  • Just ran across this quote, "I think you are trying to sell cats to a man who fancies dogs."
  • Speaking of quotes, Mrs. Shife and I are going to put up a quote board in the bathroom to help us stay more positive. Does anyone care to share some of their favorite quotes?
  • I always laugh when a salesman comes to our house, gives us a bid, and says the install will be a piece of cake. Then the install guy shows up and has to reschedule because it turns out the install will not be a piece of cake. I guess that is what happens when your house was built in 1959.
  • Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat anyway?
  • So below you will see the Halloween costumes for the Shifley family. I went as Snow White, and Mrs. Shife and Lil' Shife were dwarfs. As you can see Kyle was not too happy with his costume and Tankers was also a dwarf but he basically ate his costume so that is why he was not in the photo. My other dwarfs were off as extras in "The Dwarfshank Redemption." And you don't have to tell me that I make a beautiful Snow White. Then again beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and I think any beholders would need about 47 beers to think I looked good as Snow White.

Have a good one.


  1. "takes bout half a day
    to get there if we
    travel by... dragonfly"

  2. I will never look at Snow White the same way again.

  3. Do you celebrate hallowe'en earlier than us? Ours is the very end of the month.

    Hmm that is NOT my idea of how Snow White looks... definitely not.

    Dogs here in the UK ride mainly in the back of a car, preferably strapped in to stop them leaping about, although I admit my dog was never on a tight rein, he just behaved himself.

    Have a good week.

  4. What a great picture! You guys are a beautiful family!

    When my kids were little they hated costumes and I have many pictures of each of them screaming and trying to wiggle out of them.

    Last year we didn't try to dress up the dog but my 10 year old daughter wants her to be a princess this year. We'll see how that goes.

  5. I glanced at that pic and said OMG! what happened to Mrs. Shife? I thought she was attractive but she looks...then I looked closer. Not that you don't make a beautiful Snow White.

  6. Shife, back...after a "siesta" ...a very long siesta, but I'm Spanish, what can I say! Um...can we talk about that Snow White costume? The Mrs, is pretty special to go out with you like that and well...the little guy...just wait until he says "dad you're embarassing me"

  7. yes, canadian dogs ride shotgun. i didn't wash the inside of my windshield for 5 years after the space hound passed. i wanted to preserve his dna in case there was medical breakthrough.

  8. Folks probably say "a pair of pants" because it more than likely is a Victorian reference to pants being a pair of pantlegs or something to that archaic (and unsupported) effect. I'm totally with you on the burnt toast thing although my Grandma says carbon is good for you (because she can't cook I'm sure). And you make a beer-goggle beauty in that Snow White get-up. Props to the fam and the Tankster :-D !

    My word verification is "dingca". Use that in a sentence then discuss.

  9. The only quote I can come up with right now is one I said last week which was that bras cut your dreams off at the tits.
    You may use it if you wish.
    You are going to scare little children in that costume, you know.

  10. Oh My God that picture is hilarious!! does Disney know how good you look as snow might get a job offer!

    i like to make pop tarts on one of the last settings on our toaster

  11. For an inspirational quote for your shitter, I'd use something that George Harrison once told me, "All things must pass. Through your colon."

  12. Great Halloween photo...and I agree with Megan, I won't be looking at Snow White the same way again.

  13. Whenever I am having a terrible rotten no good day...Your blog makes me actually laugh out loud! Cheers fellow blogger..and thank you for the randomness!!!
    Couple of my Favorite Quotes:
    "'Fairy Tales always have a happy ending.' That depends... on wether you are Rumpelstiltskin or the Queen."
    — Jane Yolen (Briar Rose)

    "We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow worm."
    — Winston Churchill


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