I meant to blog earlier but the last 7 days have been quite interesting for me and I am just now able to take the time to write about the week that was.
Day 1: Tank getting to third base. I am sure this will definitely fall into the way too much information category for some of you but I am who I am and if I didn't share this story then I would not be me. Tank, Baby Shife, and I are in the master bedroom. I am changing out of my PJs to take the Shifley boys for a walk. I strip down to my birthday suit, put on a clean shirt, and about to throw on my panties when I notice Baby Shife has gotten into a drawer that is not baby-friendly. It has some of the fat basset's old meds (I know I should have thrown them out long ago) and Baby Shife was attempting to help himself to the pills. I told Baby Shife "No" in my big, bad Daddy face and rushed over to take the meds away from him. Now remember I am still in just a t-shirt when I go over to my little man. I bend down to grab Baby Shife and let him know that what he is doing is wrong when all of the sudden I feel something cold and wet on my testicles. Turns out when I bend over sans underwear my twins are right at nose level for the Tankster. So Tankers got himself to third base with me. I tried to put a positive spin on it and was just glad his nose was not level with my butt.
Day 2: Re-injuring my knee. I hurt it back in June - linky if you want to see it - and I hurt it again this week . It is not as bruised but still hurts.
Day 3: Baby Shife testing the power of my pee stream. He followed me into the bathroom and I was explaining to him that this is how big boys pee as I was going the bathroom. Well I guess he really wanted a hands-on experience and stuck his hand right in the middle of my urine stream.
Day 4: A powerful wind and thunder storm moved through our town and we were without power for nearly 22 hours. Lost power at 9 pm and didn't get it back until 6:30 pm the next day.
Day 5: I took Tank to Petsmart and Tank proceeded to say hello to every single person in the store. I kid you not. Every. Single. Person. And he said hello in the basset hound way by howling. Here is a link if you are not familiar with a basset hound howl. Whatever word in your world is the opposite of awesome pretty much describes that outing.
Day 6: Discovered that Tank enjoys an occasional cat turd when the mood strikes. You know we all have our quirks so that is cool in some bizarro world, but what is not cool is that I had to pull out that 4-inch cat turd out of his mouth.
Day 7: Baby Shife has been throwing stuff for a while now but he recently found a new item that he can he toss, and that would be a Tank turd he found somewhere in our yard. Good times.
So how was your week?
Here is a picture of me and my boys. Sorry you can't see Baby Shife too well but he is giving his Tankster a big old hug.
Getting to k-n-o-w youuu, getting to know all about youuuu...I think your week was better than mine but weirder.
ReplyDeletegood to see you're teaching baby shife all the important guy stuff. last night i watched tony soprano and friends teaching a.j. how to administer a dutch oven.
ReplyDeleteLittle boys. Big boys. Dogs.
ReplyDeleteYep. I sort of can relate.
I love this blog.
ReplyDeleteWell now... the Tankster sure knows how to get your attention doesn't he?
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment. Dogs licking human balls, babies touching adult pee streams in fascination. Imagine if you had busted a split-stream! I did a blog about that once. Not enough people, especially women and infants, know that it's possible.
ReplyDeleteWhat fun! Sounds as though everything in your garden is lovely.... grins. I don't think I'll stop laughing all day. Your post is a real tonic, Shifey, I hope you know that. Day 6 really got me laughing out loud.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the super comment about my fictitious dream!
It was quite the storm on Saturday night. Buckle up, another one is coming in tonight.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I have cats. Of course, I know I'll have to explain to my son one day that the litter box is not a sand box, and those aren't Tootsie Rolls.
ReplyDeleteROFL! HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteYou just can't go wrong as long as you surround yourself with dogs and babies.
ReplyDeleteWe have a new little dog, Roxanne, that likes to get to second base with me. I hardly ever wear a shirt when I'm at home, in the summer. I have to watch out, we'll just be playing fetch when all of a sudden Roxanne will run up and lick my nip. Perhaps I remind her of her mom, not the claim to fame that I was looking for but, oh well.
That was disturbing. In a good way though. Nice blog, certainly going to follow.
ReplyDeletelol the pic says it all Shifey!!
ReplyDeleteYou must be so happy and proud. I envy you
ReplyDeletedude. i don't think i've ever had a week that..that....interesting, yes.
ReplyDelete:)
My pitbull, Java like to eat cat turds too. Must just be a dog thing. Some other unmentionables that she has been known to eat is human feces and kid vomit. Yes,I wouldn't let her lick me in the face if my life depended on it. YUCK! Although I can honestly say she has never had a taste of my husband's family jewels.
ReplyDeleteKnee injuries suck hope you're doing OK and have recovered. I hate losing power during storms, glad you all survived :)
ReplyDeleteAlmost football time
Great picture...and if the information is coming from you...it's never too much information!
ReplyDelete