Monday, May 31, 2010

Worrying

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which will never happen. ~James Russel Lowell

I really wish I could take the advice of that quote but it is so much easier said than done. I have had a lot on mind lately and that is the main reason for the blog neglect. Once a month for the past 8 months we have had to take Baby Shife back to his doctor because there was concern about his lack of weight gain. It has frustrated me and Mrs. Shife but we listened to the doctor and kept bringing him back. Well on his last visit the concern become elevated because his weight gain was minimal over the past 30 days. So now he has to visit a specialist at a pediatric gastroenterology clinic. This news has really thrown me over the edge because I feel like I have let down my son as a parent. I have received this beautiful gift of life, a wonderful bundle of joy, and my parenting skills are hurting this little man. Baby Shife is such a happy, busy little guy and it just breaks my heart thinking I might have a hand in his lack of development. I also worry that maybe there is a physical ailment that has not been diagnosed yet and there could be something wrong with my baby. I am hoping the verdict is that the little man's parents are small, and he is going to be small so his appetite is just not as substantial as babies from bigger parents. Anyway this is where my focus is right now and I am stressing about the upcoming doctor's visit. Hope all is well in your world. Take care.

23 comments:

just bob said...

I'm sure things will all turn out well for Lil' Shife. Keep good thoughts.

Ms. Moon said...

My gut says that he is just the way he is which is fine.
Honestly.
You have done NOTHING wrong. Were you or Mrs. Shife a skinny kid?
Keep us posted.
Love...Ms. Moon

Mr. Shife said...

Thanks Just Bob. I am trying to focus on the positive.
I hope your gut is right Ms. Moon. I was a very skinny kid. I didn't break 100 pounds until I was a high school sophomore. Now I am 5'7' and 150-155 pounds, and Mrs. Shife is 5'4" and normal weight for her size so I just hope it is what it is and nothing more. Thanks for your comment.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

He's gonna be fine, I just feel it in my bones. And you're gonna fine too Shifey. I'm never wrong about these things - trust.

WomanHonorThyself said...

please keep us posted buddy and walk on faith..All will be well..just wait and see..hugs to y'all~!:)

Mr. Shife said...

Thanks Rocky and WomanHonorThyself. Being raised in a Catholic household I tend to automatically assume the worst and that is exactly what I am doing now.

Phats said...

Hey Shife
I have been such a bad blogger and feel bad for not seeing this sooner! I will keep your little guy in thoughts and prayers, everything is going to be fine :) Worrying as a parent is natural, and you definitely haven't failed him, he is lucky to have you guys as parents

Mr. Shife said...

Hey Phats. You are not a bad blogger as I just put this post up this evening so no worries. Thanks for the well wishes and stopping by. Hope you have a fun summer vacation. You deserve it.

Leah said...

I understand all about the worry that comes with anything out of the ordinary with one's child; hang in there and you guys will be fine. He looks handsome and happy, and you guys are so obviously great parents.

Hedgehog has always been at the very lowest end of the weight chart, since birth, and continues to be, and at nine she is absolutely skinny but thriving. I remember our doctor being concerned at one point when she was a toddler, but in the end there was nothing going on.

Hugs to all. Worrying, fretting, and freaking out is part of the always-wonderful, always-nerve-wracking job of parenting...

xoxo

kylie said...

i reckon he's ok!
if he looks healthy he prolly is and he's happy, right?

it's just the doc's duty of care to check it all out!

i remember a parent once telling me their wee one had put on serious weight after they started giving her a herbal appetite tonic so you could keep that in mind but prolly not yet....

you are a great dad, shifey! you care and you enjoy him, thats all it takes

Jon said...

I'm sure he'll be just fine. I think the fact that you're concerned about it makes you a good parent. Some kids are just small. If he's happy, and healthy, small or not, you're doing a great job.

Valerie said...

Come on Shifey,you are a BRILLIANT parent, so stop that! I know you can't stop worrying but try and keep it in perspective. Cutie boy looks really well and happy and I feel something would show if he wasn't. You say you were a skinny kid.... well there you are, clutch on that fact and keep the worrying at bay. Sending hugs in case they help.

Red said...
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Red said...
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Red said...

I'm a MORON! I'll get this right in a sec...Anyway, I was saying...I wouldn't sweat it much Shife. My sister's kid had reflux and was not a big eater. Both she and her Husband are lean--she's 5' 3" and he is probably 5' 10". Her little boy is starting to gain and grow and he will be two in July so really, don't sweat it. He may just be not such a big eater.

angel, jr. said...

Keeping Baby Shife in my prayers and thoughts.

billy pilgrim said...

good things come in small packages and things don't get any gooder than baby shife!

Mrs. Posey said...

It's apart of the package and there is nothing you can do. No amount of comfort, thoughts, or deep breaths will make you feel any better.

My first had to have an ultrasound on his soft spot, when he was an infant, due to the large size of his head. Same child has dark circles under his eyes due to allergies, he is as white as they come, and is skin and bone. You can imagine my worries. And I did, until my sister in law put her hand on his shoulder and shook her head and said, "Just like his daddy." Who was apparently skin and bones until about the fifth grade.

My third child wouldn't talk. He gave us the autism scare. But after a year of speech therapy, he doesn't stop talking.

My fourth has just turned two and is not talking yet.

My stepson, is currently vomiting on a regular basis. It's most likely chosen stress (as a young child he would upset himself so much to the point of vomiting), and he is dealing with a lot at the moment. But he is still going to the doctor.

There will always be something. There will always be scares. And like I said there is only one place a parent points and it is to themselves. Nothing to be done about it. Don't bottle it up. Vent. Let your emotions be. But in the end just remember that even if a parent made a mistake, it's not really a mistake when everything they do comes from love. Our actions mean very little if we really love our babies.

:)

I'm sending good vibes and good thoughts your way and hoping you don't come chasing me with a two by four.

Ananda girl said...

Shife, I wish I could ease your mind and tell you not to worry, but I'm a mom and worry never ends when it comes to your child. All I can really say is that from what I have seen, you are an excellent dad and have done a bang up job! The fact that little dude is so happy and bright says a great deal about his health to me.

I will also keep the little guy in my prayers. He is so precious! Hang in there daddy.

Megan said...

He looks fine to me. Not every kid fits into the damn stupid tables, you know. People are so very different in so many ways. Including in the ways they develop.

But still, it never hurts to be sure.

I'll be thinking about you guys!

texlahoma said...

They wouldn't even worry about that in the old days. You shouldn't be blaming yourself if anything is wrong, I'm sure you and the mrs. have done a great job of parenting. They have such strict guidelines anymore as to weight and height and age, I think they've gone a bit overboard.

tiggysmum70 said...

Shife and Mrs. Shife, You two are doing what every parent in the world does... Worry that what they are doing is enough. I did it w/ my lil guy and guess what, he's a thriving 7 year old who doesn't eat veggies or fruit. Why?? He says he doesn't like them! Go figure!! The doctor was concerned; however, I have him drinking V8 Infused and eating very minuscule bits of veggies... good huh?? Not by doctor's opinion!

Lil Shife looks healthy, and happy. That's all that matters! A friend of mine has a boy, soon to be 4, who is still wearing 2T- 3T stuff. He's going to be a short short man! Her daughter, who will be 2 in September, has already caught big brother and probably will pass him... genetics baby!

He'll be ok! (I already read the update so I know!)

At least you haven't accidentally scaled him w/ hot water, when you thought the hot water was off, like a wise mother of a 7 year old did on her son's 1st Easter! (AKA ME!)

highly me said...

i don't know you. i just decided to click "Next Blog" and this is the one that came up. i saw that you were a parent also, so i read down.

from the other side of the world, i hope your son will be fine. something tells me that he will be.

stay strong for him and your family!