Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Baby Shife has a lot of toys and some of those toys sing nursery rhymes. Well the one toy that has captured his imagination currently always sings Hickory Dickory Dock, and every time I hear it I just think of Andrew Dice Clay's version of the Mother Goose rhyme.
  • I am trying to meet my 2 books per year quota and right now I am in the middle of "Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman" by Jon Krakauer. A very good read so far.
  • Happy Anniversary to the fat basset. As of January 31, 2010, we have been owned by Captain Furry Pants for 10 years. We have had our ups and downs with him, but I would not trade him for any dog in the world. He has been the best darn basset I could have ever asked for and he has provided a lifetime of wonderful memories.
  • If you just want to mess with somebody then try this one out on them. The next time someone asks you for directions instead of pointing with one finger use four fingers instead.
  • Here are some of my Twitter updates just in case you want to know what you have been missing:
    -- Nice quote about politicians, "Congress is more concerned with the next election than the next generation."
    -- To all of you wearing headsets at the gym ... we can hear your farts!
    -- I like to refer to masturbation as "Having myself at hello."
    -- There's a fine line between spending $16 at dollar draft happy hour and $3,000 in bail.
    -- More money spent on boob jobs & viagra than on Alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky jugs, stiff wieners & no clue why!
    -- Apparently Sesquipedalophobia is the fear of long words. This must be a cruel joke on those looking up their illness.

And here is a photo of the cutest 10-month-old baby boy I know:


  1. The longest anyone can last without sleep is 11 days.

    Sorry, felt compelled to join in.

    Many that baby just gets cuter and cuter!

  2. Eleven days? Wow. The most I went was 2 days in the Navy and I was a nut bar so I can only imagine how bat shit insane you must be after 11. And thank you Elizabeth. He is pretty darn cute.

  3. YAY! Dat's one cute behbeh!

  4. People always accuse me of saying it wrong, but I always heard it like this:
    Hickory Dickory Dock
    The Mouse ran up the clock
    The clock struck one
    and down he run
    Hickory Dickory Dock

    That way it rhymes.

    Speaking of Andrew Dice Clay, here's a Tex challenge. Take a hit or two of GOOD acid, watch, Andrew Dice Clay, and try not to laugh (way too much) in front of your friends new girlfriend, who he is trying to impress. I don't think it can be done.
    Well, got to go have myself a hello.

  5. I always heard it this way:
    Hickory Dickory Dock,
    The mouse ran up the clock.
    The clock struck one,
    The mouse ran down!
    Hickory Dickory Dock.

    I guess when you are young and learning nursery rhymes you probably don't care about rhyming too much. And I think you are correct on your acid challenge.
    A hello is a great way to end the day.

  6. Congrats on surviving the shifer for ten years, Bassett!

    I thought I told you already, I didn't get to go see Avatar. You really need to check your sources at the North Pole. Rather than a sitter, I found out the one I have (Who is hardly ever available) likes to flirt with my teen. Seriously, check those sources.

  7. -- Nice quote about politicians, "Congress is more concerned with the next election than the next generation."

    Ain't that the truth......

    Hi Shifey, I won't say hello... grin.

    Congratulations to Fat Bassett on his ten year stint in the Shife household. He's doing well, that dog.

    You're absolutely right about Baby Shife.

    And finally, dare I try and find that LONG WORD in the dictionary? It looks more like an evil spell that would leap out and get me... aaaaaagh.

    Have a good week.

  8. As long as Baby Shife doesn't shoout "Oh!" at the end of said nursery rhyme, we'll be okay.

  9. An exceptional entry, Mr. Shife. You're my favorite funny place in the blogosphere, actually.

    Hi Baby Shife! Or should I call you Little Man Shife? 10 months!!!

  10. cool, baby shife is wearing jeans!

    congrats to quincy for finding and excellent home and hanging onto it for 10 years.

  11. Anonymous2/04/2010

    Damn I really want to use that pointing with four fingers tomfoolery! Can't wait for someone to ask me for directions.

  12. Jon Krakauer blamed the Bush administration and Army for the cover-up of Pat Tillman's friendly-fire death. However, the untold story is the cover-up was a thoroughly bi-partisan affair.

    In particular, the Democratic Congress and the Obama Presidency protected General Stanley McChrystal from punishment for his role in the cover-up of Pat Tillman's friendly-fire death.

    Note: email from Amir Bar-Lev says he was pretty hard on the Democratic Congress in his film "The Tillman Story".

    The documents at http://www.feralfirefighter.blogspot.com describe how General McChrystal has been protectd by Congressman Henry Waxman, Senator James Webb (along with Senators Carl Levin and John McCain), the New York Times Reporter Thom Shanker, the Center for a New American Security's Andrew Exum, and President Obama.

    It’s not surprising that after the initial cover-up fell apart, Army officers and the Bush administration lied to protect their careers. Reprehensible, but understandable. But the Democratic Congress, after they took control of both Houses in 2006, could have gone after those responsible. Or at least not promoted them!

    Just before the 2006 mid-term elections, Kevin Tillman published his eloquent letter, “After Pat’s Birthday” (truthdig.com). Kevin hoped a Democratic Congress would bring accountability back to our country. But, just as with warrantless wiretapping and torture, those responsible for the cover-up of his brother’s friendly-fire death have never been held accountable for their actions.

    Five years ago, Pat Tillman’s family were handed a tarnished Silver Star. It was a travesty of justice that General McChrystal was promoted to the Army’s highest rank, and handed his fourth star.

  13. Those gym farts are bad too cause sometimes you enhale one right when you're really exerting yourself, breathing hard.

  14. Love the four finger pointer. I'm going to try that, and let you know how it goes. That's some foolery...

    Congrats to the Fat Bassett, he found a good family, but wait till Baby Shife starts running him around the house, he'll be Slim Bassett... That boy is gorgeous!

  15. Yes that is the cutest boy under the age of two that I have seen!

    "-- More money spent on boob jobs & viagra than on Alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky jugs, stiff wieners & no clue why!"

    That's a quote that I am keeping... and still laughing loudly at, I might add. I recently had a conversation about those two things. Too funny!

  16. I saw the Diceman on television the other day. Just thought I would tell you that.

  17. I think Andrew Dice Clay has ruined many different things for a lot of people.

    I bet his grandmother cried herself to sleep on more than one occasion.

    Happy Birthday to The Basset!

  18. So glad to hear you're reading that's awesome, I love to read :0) I find it relaxing read right before bed. How is that book you like it?

    Happy anniversary to your dog :) He seems like he's be a great dog for you, here's to 10 more great years.

    As always cute picture

  19. wow a NAVY man!..booyah to u Mr. S!!!


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