Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Another List

10. Thank you for all the birthday present suggestions for Baby Shife. There were some great ideas and I think we are all set for the little man's big day. Our next dilemma is trying to figure out to how to decorate his cake. Right now the leader is his favorite stuffed animal, Skipper the Penguin from Madagascar. Or we might just go with some boobs. He seems to like those a lot too.

9. I don't like chest hair. It was a huge roadblock when I was dating. You would be surprised how many girls have chest hair. Alright I don't like MY chest hair. I have been shaving my chest since I was 18. I actually waxed it once and the depiction in "40-Year-Old Virgin" is pretty accurate. It feels like your chest is getting ripped open. Very, very painful.

8. In two months I will be another year older, and I don't think I have ever admitted how old I am on this blog. Maybe I have but I don't recall doing it. I would be curious to know how old people think I am. Do I write younger or older?

7. I need ankle surgery and I am just waiting to hear back from the doctor on when it is going to happen. The doctor is booked for the next couple of weeks but I would like to get in sooner. The recovery time is about 4 weeks and softball is right around the corner so I want to be ready to go.

6. "Zombieland" was a pleasant surprise. However, I would not recommend eating dinner while you watch it.

5. I just had to check to see if it was Ambushed Paddington time but it looks like I am still doing OK in the searches - #3 on Google. I guess I will have to find something else to share with you from the Urban Dictionary, and you get weenis - it's actually the skin on your elbow. You can thank me later.

4. Thank you "Psych" for bringing the words, Filthy Pirate Hooker, to my attention. Right now I can't think of a better combination of three words. However "Shife wins Lottery" sounds OK.

3. One of my favorite things to do when I go back to the Midwest to visit family is to hit a Steak 'n Shake. I frickin' love that place. There are no Steak 'n Shakes where I call home so I have tried to fill the void with some other burger joints but nothing has satisfied me yet. Then I met Smashburger. Sweet sassy molassey. I frickin' love this place too. Steak 'n Shake will always be #1 but Smashburger is gaining fast.

2. How about a joke? Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back, just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second, not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a nearby flower wreath.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: "We have to
be on the look-out; it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties..." The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, "We will never forget you."

1. And today you get special treat - video of Baby Shife. I hope everyone is able to watch it and enjoy a little snippet of life with the little man. As you will see in the video, he is becoming very self-aware and I almost think he plays it up for the camera. Anyway he is eating breakfast while I am in the kitchen warming up his bottle. Baby Shife is a very happy baby and like I have said a hundred times I just feel very blessed and fortunate to have such a special little guy. Have a great week.


24 comments:

WomanHonorThyself said...

hey buddy!..just stopped in a minute ago to see if ya posted..woohoo cheerios for breakfast..pass some wouldya! :)

blamemyrobot said...

I'm not hairy, but my gf said if one day I randomly grew chest hair she'd consider it a relationship deal-breaker.

And my guess is that you're 33!

Steph(anie) said...

He is a ham. I will guess that you are 36.

Mr. Shife said...

Hey Woman - I don't know if he is ready to share yet. Right now the dog is the only one he shares his Cheerios with.

Blame - Sounds like the gf is a smart one. Hang on to her. And a great guess but you are incorrect, sir.

Steph - He certainly is, and another great guess and a little warmer but wrong.

Travis Erwin said...

That E-Trade baby has nothing in baby Shife.

My guess is 28.

Mr. Shife said...

Travis - Baby Shife is laughing because I told him I was still in the stock market. And a very generous guess but I haven't been that age in a long time.

Crystal Posey said...

I had plenty to say and laugh about, but the baby shife cuteness has taken over and I can't possibly remember what I wanted to say now. LOVE babies laughing!

Mr. Shife said...

Crystal - The same thing happens when I am mad about something and he makes it all better with his laughter.

Ms. Moon said...

Baby Shife can come eat cheerios at my house anytime he wants to. And...Daddy Shife can be any age he wants to be. I have no idea how old you are. Younger than I am, and that's for sure.

billy pilgrim said...

you've got excellent comedic timing do i'll go with jack benny, 39.

excellent video of baby shife.

Jon said...

I can't wait for the day when my little guy is laughing like that. He's laughing now, but dear lord, do you have to work for it.
And believe me, I know exactly how lucky you feel.

Megan said...

Mid-thirties sounds about right.

Ankle surgery sounds like no fun.

Baby Shife sounds fantastic!

Valerie said...

Ye Gods, I'm a woman and I NEVER knew women had hairy chests.... what the heck's wrong with their hormones?

Couldn't hazard a guess about your age, Shifey, but I assume you write appropriately for whatever it is ... grins.

Hope your ankle surgery goes well.

And finally... God, I love that little man to bits.

Ananda girl said...

Okay... I'm guessing 42! I'm sure I'm way off, but hey, you asked.

Cheerios make me laugh too. But I'm not that cute.

Loved the joke.

Red said...

Those are either the best cheerios on planet earth or you are one big crack-up to BehBeh Shife. Handsome and cute: the one-two combo!

Red said...

Oh yeah, and I'm with billy on the age-guess: 39

Limon Partido said...

OH my hormones..be still!!!
What a sweet, sweet boy!! That laugh is magical!!!

My guess on the age...38
Have a great week!

unokhan said...

i think u did tell your age here at DWG, coz i remember being surprised that you weren't in your twenties -- you've got that kind of joie de vivre.

let there be laughter..

texlahoma said...

I'll guess 32.
Baby Shife is a natural, a star is born!

Random Chick said...

You are turning 40 and are questioning your existence. It's okay. We all go through that. I think you write much older than you are...especially all that old fart stuff about ankle surgery.

The Hubby is hairier than a wild gorilla. He did the same as you, but when he turned 40 he said, "F*ck this!!" and stopped all hair removal efforts. Now I wake up with a giant hair ball every morning. But I still love him.

Baby Shife is so frickin' cute. You need to patent that laughter. You could make a million!!!

kylie said...

you write younger.

TOPolk said...

What wrong w/ the bum ankle?

I feel like I enjoyed that joke way more than I should have?

And since we're guessing on how old you are...I'll say 31. But I think I'm basing that moreso on pictures than I am your writing style.

Steph said...

Nawww so cute! For the record I think you're about 35.

Design Goddess said...

You watch Psych?! I KNEW I liked you for some reason! :)