Random Acts of Shifeness

  • I don't know if this is a well-known fact or not, but there is a way you can tell how "big" a guy is by having him make the loser sign. Here is an image to help you out in case you wanted to know what Michael Moore is packing.
    Anyway it is pretty accurate and comes in handy when you need to measure something and don't have measuring tape at your disposal. The reason I bring this up is because Mrs. Shife and I found a TV armoire this past weekend but we weren't sure if it was big enough fso I had to break out the L sign to see if it would work for my big TV and well it turns out me and the armoire were just big enough.
  • Sometimes I don't mind the combination of two words to form another word like when fantastic and fabulous get together after a few drinks and make fantabulous. But there is one unholy union of words that makes me cringe when I hear it - chillaxing. I don't know if it is relaxing and chill or if it is chilling and relax, but whoever decided that these two words should bump uglies and make a word baby needs to get punched in the neck.
  • Honey has never been a major staple of my diet but lately I have been throwing quite a bit back lately in my hot tea to help battle my cold. But now I know why it has never been a big part of my diet. Once the honey hits the Shife ecosystem there is some serious global warming if you know what I mean. And this global warming smells like a used diaper ... filled with ... Indian food.
  • Why am I watching Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew? If there's one thing good I can say about the show is that it is slightly better than anything else on VH1. Of course, that's like saying catching your hand in a meat grinder is slightly better than catching your hand in a wood chipper.
  • I also started watching two other shows that I actually enjoy Tosh.O on Comedy Central and The League on FX. They make me laugh, and sometimes I raise my hands in my air like I do care.
  • I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and with news of a pumpkin pie shortage I am not going to take any chances. Memo to Costco: Your ample pumpkin pie supply will be greatly depleted when Mr. Shife visits this afternoon.
  • And Peggy - thanks for the comment on my last post. I tried to write back to you but it said your profile is not available.
  • Baby Shife update - Almost 8-months old, 16 pounds, and 25 inches tall, and speaking of the little wildcat here is your weekly fix:


  1. Oh dear. Can you just send him to me? Overnight him. He'll be fine.

  2. "Hi Handsome Behbeh Shife"

    "chillaxing": the cold trots. Probably get those after all that honey.
    I miss Costco. Husband's "loser" 'unit' of measure reminds me of those quarter pound Hebrew Nationals they sell.
    And the TMI Award goes to...

  3. I wish I could but I have grown really, really attached to him. Mrs. Shife and I figured it out that he has not been out of sight for less than three hours. We have been on one date since he came along 8 months ago, and we have thought about going out but we would rather stay at home with him. I just absolutely love and adore that kid.

  4. You would not have missed Costco today Red. I was ready to have Baby Shife fling poo on some people. And for now the TMI award is safely yours. I guess we will have to see what other kind of comments I get, and Baby Shife says hello as well.

  5. I totally can't compete with the TMI award, because that would mean I would have to go home and measure the partner and I am too fat, therefore have no intention of getting naked, which of course would happen if said measuring were to take place. So I gladly step aside.

    AIRBORNE. Works and tastes far better than honey, plus has that delightful fizziness, plus? Maybe won't cause that terrible Indian food smell.

    And yeah, the baby is pretty sweet. If you ever head through here, you should just drop him off; we don't live THAT far apart.

  6. ok the grandma in me is taking over control... a reminder that honey can be deadly to babies. no honey for baby Shife! Ok, enough of that. but I could not stand for something to happen to the little guy. but you probably knew.

    okay gonna try the L loser sign thing. i do a similar trick with my thumb.

    love the photo as aways... thanks!

  7. THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT cause someone needed to. I HATE THE WORD CHILLAXING. I hate it so much.

    Great post. Your baby is, as always, magic. By the way, I showed Ella (that's Hedgehog) the video of Baby Shife and the Fat Bassett and she loved it so much that she watched it like five times in a row.

  8. Kori - I will let Red know she is still the TMI champ. I usually pop Airborne before we fly but this cold caught me off guard and just keeps lingering. And I will keep you in mind for babysitting duties.

    Ananada girl - Duly noted about the honey. I had no idea so thanks for sharing. Good luck with your Loser sign experiment.

    Leah - I have just been hearing that word way too much on Facebook and other places and had enough. Glad Hedgehog liked the video. Tell her there will be many more as long as the fat basset cooperates.

  9. Chillaxing reminds me of a cold chocolate Exlax......So I'm with you, we can drop kick that on into last week so we never have to see that again!!

    Baby Shife is sooo adorable!! Families and babies are soo great!!

  10. i've never drank the michael moore kool aid, somehow he reminds me of a pro rassler.

    i'm guessing you're gonna have a killer santa outfit for baby shife's first xmas.

  11. I like Tosh O...I watched his stand-up on Netflix. Hilarious.

    I'm all about the pumpkin. Love those pumpkin scones at Starbucks.

  12. YAY I win! I win! I wi...what do I win?

    "Chillaxing" is going on my list of banned words. Thank you for doing us all a public service by bringing it to justice.

  13. Yeah I am not a fan of Chillaxing myself.

    I like to dip chicken in honey is that odd? Like nuggets and what not haha.

    Great new picture of Baby Shife! Hope your whole family has a great Thanksgiving!!

  14. "bump uglies and make a word baby"...haha i luv you. ;)

    Have a Great Thanksgiving Shife!

  15. Never heard of chillaxing and by the sound of it I don't want to. Sometimes I wish people would leave the language alone.
    About honey, so that's what causes it ... wink. Must remember to leave it alone in future.
    I can understand why you're so smitten with Baby Shife... we all are. After all, he is the most adorable baby in Blogshire. Eight months already, heavens where does the time go?
    Happy Thanksgiving.

  16. Happy Thanksgiving Shife!

  17. Called me out in the confessional, did you? Now a full-fledged follower. Thanks for the heads up and the funny post. Gonna do some fine chillaxing today in your honor.

  18. Baby = wildcat, I love it. I heard that there was a pumpkin shortage, but had no trouble finding any to back pies. Don't know what that was all about, maybe we didn't have a shortage here in California. Glad you had a great Thanksgiving, and, as usual, your post was amusing as can be.

  19. I like the Tosh show, too. They try a lot of stuff on that channel, but when they hit, it usually works.

    Love to the little bugger. You have many, many adventures in store.

  20. You know what I don't like about Dr. Drew? He chillaxes with that stethescope all the time during therapy, but not once have I seen him check someone's heart.


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