Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Post #550. I think if I hit 1000 I get an ultimate set of Google steak knives.
  • These two sick and twisted thoughts made their way out of my brain this past week: 1) It sucks when the first time you go to bed with the new person in your life and you take off your underwear and throw them at the wall and they stick, and 2) It sucks when you go to bed drunk, wake up with a hangover and a throbbing erection in hand ... then realize it isn't yours.
  • Would you shop at a floor and tile store if it was named "Floorgasm"?
  • The next great boy band idea. I know why the hell am I thinking about boy bands, but anyway ... Four guys, no shirts, and they call themselves Fourskin.
  • I have been watching too much "How I Met Your Mother." I big-time resisted this show because I hate shows with laugh tracks, but I watched a few episodes and it grew on me. I must admit that I really enjoy it now. Plus I get to watch reruns on Lifetime and I love seeing the promos for their upcoming movies of the week like "Touched by an Uncle."
  • Anyone excited about the new G.I. Joe movie? I think it looks really bad but that is just me.
  • Mrs. Shife and I have our official second date since the baby was born. His aunt will be babysitting while we go out and enjoy a Cross Canadian Ragweed concert.
  • It has only taken 5 plus years at our house but the fat basset finally received some mail. He got a catalog from Intercollegiate Studies Institute. I have no idea how they got his name. It is really funny - at least to me - because they addressed it to Quincy Rutherford, and Rutherford is the middle name I gave him when we first rescued him. Anyway below you will still the photographic evidence.



  • Baby Shife might not turn out to be the next Michael Phelps but he hit the water for the first time this week and seemed to like it. He didn't pee in the pool. Now if only his Dad could break himself of that habit.

27 comments:

Jon said...

Well, I slept until noon today, so I think I'm starting my "stock up" process. I would be excited about the GI Joe movie, but I hear it's really bad. I've seriously heard this mentioned in the same breath as the Dolph Lundgren "Masters of the Universe" movie. Remember that one?

Mr. Shife said...

Oh yeah. I remember that horrible piece of garbage Jon. "He-Man" could actually be a decent flick if the right people got behind it. I keep seeing the trailers for GI Joe and get less interested every time.

Ms. Moon said...

I'm sorry. How could any movie called GI Joe be anything but ridiculous?
And hey- did you know that you have the cutest baby in the world?

Mr. Shife said...

Thanks Ms. Moon. However I think that title might be going to someone else once the new addition to your family comes along.

Megan said...

What courses will the Fat Basset be taking?

Red said...

GI JOE will suck out loud.


BabyShife(d)roolz!

Mr. Shife said...

Well Megan I think he is going to study quantum physics. He was just telling me the other day that quantum physics is necessary to understand the properties of solids, atoms, nuclei, subnuclear particles and light. In order to understand these natural phenomena, quantum principles have required fundamental changes in how humans view nature. To many philosophers (Einstein included), the conflict between the fundamental probabilistic features of quantum mechanics and older assumptions about determinism provided a cognitive shock that was even more unsettling that the revised views of space and time brought by special relativity.
If that doesn't work out he might just study turf and golf course management because he is really good at fertilizing and watering plants.

Mr. Shife said...

Hey Red you are right on about that one, and Baby Shife is a drooling machine. Once he hit 4 months the drool faucet has been going non-stop. He is trying to give the fat basset a run for his money as who is the king of drooling in the house.

Ananda girl said...

Why yes, I would shop at Floorgasm! for the name if no other reason. I mean, you would have to check that out wouldn't you?

Glad you two get to go out. That boy gets cuter by the minute but you need your sanity.

I got a real kick out of Quincy's mail. That's one bright basset. Too funny! See ya Shife!

Mr. Shife said...

Glad you like the name of the store Ananda Girl. Maybe I can get Fourskin to play at the grand opening? Mrs. Shife and I are looking forward to going out as well as it is one of our favorite bands but just feel bad for the babysitter (Mrs. Shife's sister) because the baby is teething and not taking a bottle too well. And I got a kick out of Quincy's mail too. I am just trying to imagine how he got on someone's mailing list.

Megan said...

Holy cow.

billy pilgrim said...

excellent point on the laugh tracks.

i can understand why an unfunny show like friends had a laugh track but why would they put a laugh track on fawlty towers?

baby shife gets handsomer by the day.

Limon Partido said...

Shife...I am so with you about shows with laugh tracks, but I will have to check out How I met your mother...and the Floorgasm store....absolutely would shop there...just so I can say the name outloud and watch people's reactions...
Enjoy your night out!!

just bob said...

I saw CCR last Friday night in San Francisco. They were really good. Have a super time.

tina said...

How did Quincy get mail? That is amazingly funny :) Yep, I did a new post too but I'm sure you have seen most of it on FB, my friend :)

TOPolk said...

Bad is an understatement for what the G.I. Joe movie is going to be.

Your two sick and twisted thoughts had me LOLing. Good stuff.

Crystal Posey said...

Floorgasm and fourskin?? Am laughing so hard! I'm so pimping this post.

Cutest pictures I've seen yet. Absolutely adorable! I think your kid takes almost as good a pictures as mine do. *snickers*

Also, did you see my tweet to Travis. I tried to convince him to take us on vacation with him. He answered me with a no response. Can you believe that? What a snob. *shakes head*

angelcjr said...

When I was younger, I feared peeing in the pool. Someone told me that there were chemicals which would change color upon contact with urine. I believed them.

P.S...blogspot isn't letting me sign in with my google account, so I have to use this name/url thinggie.

Leah said...

This is so freaking hilarious, but then it always is. You are in rare form, Shife!

texlahoma said...

They were giving away free tickets to the G.I. Joe movie if you knew the answer to a question about it. I knew the answer but didn't call it in cause I realized I didn't want to go see it, maybe if they paid me I'd go see it.
Why did they start making OSU basketball cheerleaders wear panties?
Because they kept sticking to the floor.
What's the first thing an OSU cheerleader does on Sunday morning?
Walk home.

just bob said...

Why is the OSU football field astroturf? So the cheerleaders don't graze at halftime.

Random Chick said...

I've always wanted an ultimate set of Google steak knives! I'm jealous.

Baby Shife just gets cuter and cuter. By the time he turns 1 year old you'll have to beat the toddler girls off with a stick. They'll be after him, mark my words!

Design Goddess said...

I think I'd rather have Ginsu knives. I mean, can the Google ones cut through a can and then gently slice a tomato?

And did you know that if you don't capitalize the G in Google, it gets underlined to tell you that you need to capitalize it?

Finally, I think you should sign up Quincy for a couple classes and see if they can actually collect the tuition!

Valerie said...

Sneaked on using ship's computer. Separating me from Blogland wasn't a good idea. Even though it's hot Gran Canaria doesn't have the same soul fulfulment. Thank goodness for Baby Shife, his cuteness is a real soul saver. Your post was funny too!
Okay, now I've had my fix I'll pop off and enjoy the sunshine.

The Egg said...

Mr. Shife, it's me Egg! I must apologize for leaving the blogging world, but I found the courage to write again...I know I missed a lot here. First off, congrats with the baby!!! Hope to reconnect again..

Red said...

Ha! http://qwertyaltofuori.blogspot.com/2009/08/knowing-is-half-battle.html

Phats said...

haha fourskin that's hilarious stuff shife!

How come you blurred out your address can't understand why?

Your kid keeps getting cuter and cuter must take after his mom ;) almost football season expect you to be a guest picker again