Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Thank you to everyone for your kind words regarding my last post. I sincerely appreciate it and I just wanted to let you know.
  • This literally sucks, and it is also basic math. Pool filter, a few drinks and your penis do not add up to what one would call a great evening. Read all about it right here, Dong and Pool Filter Link. And feel free to insert (poor choice of wording there) your Free Willy jokes.
  • For the love of overweight circus midgets what is wrong with people? I wish the following sentence I am about to type was just a figment of my imagination but sadly it is true. A year ago, Lisa, 16, ran away with a grandfather 30 years her senior. So did the couple live happily ever after?
  • And a few notes from the Rookie Dad journal. Just when I think I kind of got a handle on the whole being a Dad thing Baby Shife throws me a curve ball. The other night he was extremely fussy and did not want to sleep. When he did sleep he would wake up 5-10 minutes later screaming bloody murder and crying like the Cubs won the World Series (I am a Cardinals fan by the way). If this was an episode of Scooby-Doo I would have said "Ruh Roh Raggy" and hid behind some desk. But with the help of my lovely wife and some Scooby snacks (read: BEER) we tamed the wild child. From what we can gather he was having a growth spurt and it looks like his swaddling days are over. He puts up a big fight now when he gets wrapped up burrito-style so we are letting him sleep with his arms out.
  • I was re-watching "The Kite Runner" and this quote from the movie really stuck with me, "Children are not like coloring books. You can't fill them in with your favorite colors." I don't want to be one of those parents that tries to live my dreams and fantasies through my child. Sure I would love it if my son loved baseball and the Cardinals as much as I do and maybe even became a pretty good ball player but I am not going to shove that down his throat. I just want him to be happy and to be himself. I have to remind myself of that when he is a teenager and starts making fashion statements. I sure hope kids are pulling up their pants by then.
  • And here is your weekly fix of the cutest baby I know:


  1. Stop it! Stop the cuteness!
    (No, really, don't stop.)
    That is the most precious darling infant. Thank-you for my weekly fix.

  2. We're always jonesing for the cuteness that is the Baby Shife. Handsome happy little man!

  3. That boy cannot be any more darling than he is! Lovely hands holding him too. Lucky Shife!

    I gotta tell you, that Lisa tale really creeped me out.

    Now the pool filter...I'll be laughing at that for days. Thanks!

    My oldest dyed his hair hot pink. The school principal asked me how I felt about that. "If this is the worst he ever does... then I thank God for it!" was my reply.

    That boy is going to be one lucky kid to have someone who cares so much for a dad. But I'm with you... can't wait for the diaper full of crap pants look to go away.

  4. i recently told my 14 year old that i would kill him if he wore pants like that. i can live with most teen fashions but the pants are just too awful
    baby shife is pretty cute.

  5. just a wild guess, alcohol was involved in the pool incident.

    baby shife is cuter by the minute. you're sure doing something right.

  6. How dare you be a good father and not live vicariously through your son.

  7. Poor Lisa. I'm glad she seems to have wised up.

    I'm sure lil' Shife will like your teams. Kids do, you know.

    Thanks for continuing with the weekly photos, it's pretty cool to look at the changes - and they change so quickly, don't they?

    Hey, lil Shife! You go to sleep, now, you hear?

  8. Shife....let me just say that your son is just gorgeous!! He's got a mischevious look in his eyes in this picture...he might like the Cardinals, but based on that look in his eyes, when he is about 15 or 16...he will look at you and think....dork....
    sorry...all kids do that to their parents (smile) totally no reflection on you and it will be payback for the "burrito wrapped baby"

  9. Of course the "pool incident" would happen here in Florida...
    I'm already preparing for the teenage years, as karma is a bitch and both Steph and I strongly rebelled.

  10. I'm gonna follow you on twitter. Follow back at your own risk, I tweet excessively. It's an addiction I proudly admit. Feel free not to follow back ;)

  11. Ahh he's such a cute little kid!

    Umm Shife I am a cubs fan my friend and i Can tell you I will be screaming like that when we WIN the world series this year, and btw the Cards SUCKASS! haha

  12. Beautiful pic of Baby Shife. I think that Lisa must have gotten tired of seeing grandpa's teeth. Gosh, those were some really bad teeth on that guy. Pool filter penis guy has big balls! Or at least he did after the paramedics were through with him.

  13. As much as I want to make a tacky comment here, you got a cute kid. Good job ole chap!

  14. Honey, do you and Ms. Shife think he might be teething? He may need that frozen donut thing or some of those really hard crackers. I can't remember the name. I'd research teething and buy some of that numbing stuff too. I know, I can't remember the name. OH, Ambisol! I'd buy Ambisol. And you should call the Pediatrician. *Suze makes tea and scones for the elders.*

    He's too cute. You know that. And I agree. He should be exactly who he's supposed to be. You're a smart man and a wise father. And like you I do hope the trend with pants down past the ass is over by the time he's a teen or the long shorts past the knees with white socks over the calves touching the bottom of the shorts is too. What the hell are they thinking? "Unattractive" is actually a word in the English dictionary that is terrible underestimated and misunderstood. Amen and good luck!

    XO to all. ;)

  15. Maybe by the time he's a teenager, the Urkel look will be in.

  16. Baby Shife is a real stunner. I love him to bits. Good on you for deciding not to inflict your likes and dislikes onto him toooo much.

  17. Anonymous7/17/2009

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