What Brought You Here Today?

Some of you have me bookmarked and just like to stop by and say hello because you think I am a swell fellow.
So hey you, how's it going? I hope you are a having a super day.
However, not all of my visitors find the dumb, white guy so easily. They actually Google certain words and my blog appears before them like magic. {Cue "The Final Countdown"}
Some of the keywords people use to find themselves in this part of the cyberspace is quite unusual. And I might be mistyping disturbing when I say unusual.
Personally I sleep better at night knowing that if someone is searching for the top 10 most inappropriate erection they are going to find me. But then again I might just be sleeping great at night since the blue devil rode into my life. It is amazing what 47 ounces of Nyquil will do to you. {Alright enough with "The Final Countdown"}
It is also nice to know that through my humanitarian blogging efforts I can supply people with the information they are desperately craving. I might be getting a little ahead of myself here but can you smell what Mr. Shife is cooking? That is right. Hello Nobel Prize.
Below is a list of the recent keyword activity for this blog ranked in order of their popularity, and you definitely notice a trend in some of the topics I write about.
  1. peter heater
  2. confessions of a dumb white guy
  3. list of dislikes
  4. confessions of a stunt cock
  5. anti dr phil
  6. inappropriate erections
  7. dave chappelle's wife
  8. fat guy in a thong
  9. ambush Paddington
  10. captain furry
  11. top 10 most inappropriate erections
  12. good comebacks for stupid people
  13. confessions of a frat guy
  14. thong guy tube
  15. top 10 erections
  16. erections at inappropriate times
  17. yokozuna prank
  18. quincy the basset hound
  19. wonderbread challenge
  20. paranthesis
  21. dogs are forever in the push up position meaning
  22. properly wipe ass
  23. how do i live in a world full of stupid people
  24. why would wife start wearing thongs
  25. dog biscuit funny stories
  26. confessions and cancer and blog
  27. somoa cookies
  28. what percentage of a fart stinks?
  29. fat guy in thong
  30. ambushed Paddington
  31. oliver klozoff.blogspot
  32. dumb white guy commercials
  33. nude sun tanning
  34. nude tanning
  35. poems about bed bugs
  36. dumbest white guys
  37. ed helms video nut cam
  38. can midgets wipe their ass
  39. list your dislikes
  40. feeling light headed all the time and deaf in one ear
  41. guyzillian
  42. nude suntan
  43. guys laughing pain
  44. most inappropriate times to get boners
  45. nothing but white thongs
  46. dumb white idiots getting high together
  47. list of dislikes of the world
  48. guy in thong
  49. my sisters white thong
  50. my wife and her battery operated boyfriend
  51. dad gets erection at inappropriate time
  52. really fat guy
  53. owl street gang monroe Louisiana
  54. wonder bread challenge
  55. rug burn


  1. And I know you're so proud.

  2. You are never boring and you make me laugh. Totally inappropriate. I guess I must like that eh? I actually found you by cruzing through dmarks list. good find.

  3. Ms. Moon - I might have patted myself on my back a few times.

    Ananda - Well I am glad you found me and glad I can keep you laughing. Now if I could only post a comment on your blog. It just will not let me.

  4. ooooh... unhappy me! I don't know why that is. I hope you won't stop trying.

  5. Ananda - No I won't stop trying. I just can't get the word verification letters to load so I can post my comment. It just tells me that the words are Loading... and I did type in Loading... just to see if they were messing with me.

  6. an excellent list to keep for your grandchildren to cherish when the religious right take over the planet and re-write history.

  7. That list makes me very glad I found your blog. Funny stuff!

  8. Erections erections erections! You might as well just change your blog title to confessions of a dumb, white erection based on those search terms. Keep up the good work Shife.

  9. Let me see.....erections, thongs and my absolute favorite...Peter Heater....what is that? nevermind...don't answer.... :)

  10. A good dad brought me here? Ummmm...

  11. You know I'm going to have to print down this list and try them out. I happily expect hours of entertainment.

    Why does it do that? I do not get it. Citizen also said she had some trouble before. Do I contact them and demand they fix it? Can I do that? Are you the answer man? Sorry. I'll see what I can do.

  12. I come by because I think you're HAWT, lol. Well not really. You should see some of the things that people type to get to my site. There are a lot of people who want to see about hidden cameras in strip bars and camera tattoos.

  13. Oh and that damn snuggie one gets a lot of hits too.

  14. You never cease to amaze and humor me. How's Mrs. Shife feeling?

  15. It's a good thing I have you bookmarked... otherwise a few of those keywords would be higher on the list.

  16. I get all sorts of inappropriate search terms as well. They make me laugh and shake my head. Some people look for the strangest things on the internet.

  17. I am one of those that come around cause you are a swell fellow. In fact whenever I come to your blog "for he's a jolly good fellow" echoes through my mind as I read your new entries.

  18. you do have a lot of innappropriate erections. i think theres a name for that..............

  19. I was thinking about you and Mrs. Shife this morning. The date has to be getting close. Do you feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach yet? I hope all is well. How's Quincey?

  20. I came here through Ruby Ruby Ruby.

  21. ok, that is awesome! I miss this because of having an invite only blog. I'm thinking about changing it back in the hopes that people have moved on. I guess I could always resort to death threats

  22. isn't swell fellow kinda the same thing as erection?

  23. nice. I would put a list on mine, but then again I would be searched for the same terms again, no? hehe somehow I get F*ck girl and im not sure why...


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