Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Thanks to the inspiration of Stephen Colbert I am going to start a "Snort Cocaine for Charity" campaign. So if you know of any organizations in need let me know and I will get my team together to snort as much cocaine as possible for your charity.
  • If I opened a comedy club I would name it LOL.
  • Bill Maher suggested that President-elect Obama change the Department of Health and Human Services to the Department of Earth, Wind, and Fire. Some of you might get the reference if you were born in the '70s.
  • I went and saw "Role Models." Very funny movie.
  • I ran into someone who had a miniature Husky. Yes that's right - a sawed-off Husky that will weigh about 25 pounds. I don't understand it but I saw it. Anyway I though it would be great if they had another dog sled race in Alaska called "The Midgetarod" - an Iditarod for the little people and little dogs. So you have the mini Huskies pulling around midgets? What do you think?


  1. I bet that mini husky was really cute. My grandparents had Alaskan Malamutes they were awesome.

    Snorting for charity eh? go for it!

  2. God I love you. You're "awesome!!!" Yes, I cherish that word.

    I am from the 70's, so the Dept of Earth, Wind and Fire just about killed me. If only! That's too damn funny.

    Be careful with the cocaine. I want you here tomorrow. Who else am I going to lick from head to toe? (If your wife reads this, I'm kidding, it's a joke! Trust me honey, I'd only lick his toe!!!) What? I had to have a bit of fun!



  3. Dog breeders is the craaaaziest people!

  4. I would watch the midgetarod. It would be more entertaining.

  5. I've never done cocaine so can't help you.

    Try this link...

  6. Maybe you could start your own charity that supplies cocaine and it’s just for guys. You could call it blow for bros!

    What if we changed the name of the Department of Defense to the Department of War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing say it again….

  7. Anonymous11/21/2008

    I just say Bill Maher's movie, "Religulous." It was HI-LAR-I-OUS! And I too second his suggestion for Dept of Earth, Wind, and Fire. If Michelle Obama put on some gold lame, she could totally run it.

  8. Anonymous11/21/2008

    That's supposed to be "saw" not "say." Sorry, caffeine hasn't kicked in.

    I'd like to join your "Snort Cocaine for Chairity" campaign, btw.

  9. i think alaska expelled all the midgets and dwarfs when sarah couldn't tell them apart.

    i hope you and your snorting team have good dental plans.

  10. I think it would be awesome to have an entire farm of miniature animals: miniature cows, miniature donkeys, miniature pigs, miniature horses, miniature chickens. How cool would that be? And your crops could be all baby vegetables.
    Man, you could have an entire farm on about two acres!
    I'm thinking it's the wave of the future.

  11. Miniature husky race sounds awesome.

  12. Anonymous11/22/2008


    Please snort for the UNHCR. I have a few more charities, but I wouldn't want to lose you to a charity heh

    Ya, I missed Maher the past two weeks, can ya believe it?! I gotta use that on-demand thingie and catch up.

  13. At least you would be skinny and really really hyper. Plus, after enough cocain, you could actually insert a handkerchif into one nostril and full it out of the other. That is quite the usefull and entertaining cocktail party trick. Glad you are back and as funny as ever.

  14. Bill Maher always comes up with shit that ends up giving me headaches from extreme fits of laughter.

    If you haven't seen 'Religulous,' you should seek it out ASAP.

  15. Anonymous11/22/2008

    Oh hell yah... Dept. of Earth, Wind and Fire works for me...

    I want a toy schnoodle.

  16. The problem with the department of Earth, Wind & Fire is there are no Mages around.

  17. cocaine for charity. ahahahahaaaa

    it could be equally as entertaining to have little people pulling little dogs.....

    oh the creative works of your mind...


Post a Comment