Thursday, November 13, 2008

Did I say 10 days?

There was a reason why I was a communications major. But I am back. Hopefully everyone survived without me. Alright quick group hug. Everyone feel better?
On with the blog.
I found this playing around online. I don't need to talk about the last time I played online. I think I still have that rash.
Anyway this is just a hypothetical game.
I know some of you might not like playing hypothetical games because it is like lying to your mind but do it anyway. And I realize most of these questions are for people with penises but I think there are a few for the ladies.

Would You Rather...

  • Have infinite money or live as long as you want?
  • Be famous for getting beat up by Clay Aiken or for banging Oprah?
  • Call it Rhode Island or Kakapoopooshire?
  • Have straight, black teeth that can't be whitened or pearly white, crooked teeth that can't be fixed?
  • Have a dumb girlfriend with big boobs, or a smart girlfriend with a major bank account and no boobs?
  • And for the ladies. Have a dumb boyfriend with a huge wang, or a smart boyfriend with a major bank account and a tiny, tiny wang.
  • Have a kind, intelligent talking hampster or a loud, racist talking Wookie?
  • Have a hang nail or something stuck in your teeth for the rest of your life?
  • Only be able to talk using famous movie quotes or only be able to talk in a hilariously high-pitched voice for the rest of your life?
  • Kill Dracula with your bare hands or kill an army of weak, slow zombies with a bunch of weapons?
  • Have Will Smith's character from Men in Black be president, or have Will Smith's character from Independence Day be president?
  • Lick a subway handrail, or forever suck at beer pong?
  • Be Jason Bourne, or James Bond, but as Timothy Dalton?
  • Be able to only watch movies, or television for the rest of your life?
  • Live in Peewee's Playhouse, or Live in the Playboy Mansion?
  • Have Van Halen's "Eruption" play loudly for everyone to hear whenever you pee, or have Marvin Gaye's "Lets get it on" whenever you have a boner?
  • Find a genie lamp inhabited by Robin Williams, or find a genie lamp inhabited by Shaq?
  • Have make up sex, or break up sex?
  • Know how many times you have masturbated in your life, or know how much time you have spent masturbating in your life?
  • Graduate from school without debt, or be unbeatable at Golden Tee?

I think that is enough.
Have a good weekend.
And remember no shirt, no shoes, no service.

18 comments:

INNER VOICES said...

welcome back!!! id rather just have the penis... thats all i require in life...

Phats said...

First off your comment on my blog was hilarious.

Am I suppose to answer these you know I will. Welcome back, and Hey I got a Comm Minor!

Leah said...

Have a kind, intelligent talking hampster or a loud, racist talking Wookie? Okay, I just startled my old deaf dog out of a snooze from laughing at this one. I could only dream of having such a choice!!!!

Essentially Me said...

your what if's are hilarious!

Booya said...

Ahhmm - If you take a look over at my blog, you will see that this game is called Zobmondo. Thanks for not paying attention to me... where is my therapist number?

billy pilgrim said...

i didn't need to go past the first one, i'll take the infinite money.

i hear chicks dig cash. hey baby, ever seen a googolplex of 1 oz gold buffaloes?

hey madonna, here's a billion, blow me...

Megan said...

Um, Shife? What are your answers?

Woozie said...

Forever suck at beer pong. Who says I have to play?

I'll take smart and rich kthx.

angel, jr. said...

Hey, I'm glad you are back!! How was your time away?

BBC said...

Have a dumb girlfriend with big boobs, or a smart girlfriend with a major bank account and no boobs?

Me being me, I don't care about the money so I don't care how much she has. I want her to be somewhat smart, smart enough to understand and accept me.

Boobs, not big, not small, somewhere in between that like to be kissed a lot cuz I love to kiss boobs.

Know how many times you have masturbated in your life, or know how much time you have spent masturbating in your life?

Most likely more time than I have spent having sex with the messed up women on this planet.

Many sperm have died in my old tee shirts, or cum catchers as I call them.

And some women, I just want to share the love with them, sex is not required even though I may want sex with them I don't suggest it.

But it may be hard to turn down if offered to me by the right woman. Hell, I don't know, I haven't had sex with a woman for about eight years.

She would have to be very special to me in order for us to share that with each other. And be able to share spirit with me.

But I no longer expect her to show up, so be it.

Suzanne said...

Welcome back dear man. Missed you.

I refuse to answer any of these questions. Pulls up lawn chair and watches as others do. What?

XO

Leah said...

Oh wait, were we supposed to answer the questions? Well, I'll answer my favorite: I like my hamsters on the quiet side, so I'll take the loud, racist talking Wookie.

Me-Me King said...

Where's the score sheet? I wanna know if I'm a good witch or a bad witch. Gotta go catch my flying monkies. See ya!

Travis Erwin said...

I'll play.

* Have infinite money or live as long as you want? SHOW ME THE MONEY.
* Be famous for getting beat up by Clay Aiken or for banging Oprah? WILL OPRAH ENDORSE ONE OF MY BOOKS?
* Call it Rhode Island or Kakapoopooshire? HOW ABOUT EAST TEXAS?
* Have straight, black teeth that can't be whitened or pearly white, crooked teeth that can't be fixed? WHO THINKS UP THIS CRAP?
* Have a dumb girlfriend with big boobs, or a smart girlfriend with a major bank account and no boobs? CAN'T SHE BUY SOME BOOBS WITH THAT COIN?
* And for the ladies. Have a dumb boyfriend with a huge wang, or a smart boyfriend with a major bank account and a tiny, tiny wang. EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!
* Have a kind, intelligent talking hampster or a loud, racist talking Wookie? I LOOK TO MUCH LIKE A WOOKIE MYSELF SO I BETTER GO WITH THE HAMPSTER SO THE WOOKIE DOESN'T GET DRUNK AND HORNY AND TRY TO MATE WITH ME.
* Have a hang nail or something stuck in your teeth for the rest of your life? WOLD THOSE BE BLACK TEETH OR CROOKED WHITE TEETH?
* Only be able to talk using famous movie quotes or only be able to talk in a hilariously high-pitched voice for the rest of your life? THE LATTER,A T LEAST I COULD BE THE NATIONAL HELIUM SPOKESMAN.
* Kill Dracula with your bare hands or kill an army of weak, slow zombies with a bunch of weapons? CAN I JUST CHOKE TWILIGHT AUTHOR STEPHANIE MEYER FOR STEALING MY DREAM?
* Have Will Smith's character from Men in Black be president, or have Will Smith's character from Independence Day be president? WHAT ABOUT THE FRESH PRINCE?
* Lick a subway handrail, or forever suck at beer pong? I'VE ALREADY DID BOTH.
* Be Jason Bourne, or James Bond, but as Timothy Dalton? DO I HAVE TO HANF OUT WITH AFFLECK?
* Be able to only watch movies, or television for the rest of your life? MOVIES.
* Live in Peewee's Playhouse, or Live in the Playboy Mansion? MOVE OVER HEF.

oKAY MY BOSS IS PAGING ME ON THE INTERCOM.

Phats said...

I saw your Vandals play on the Big Ten Network today! They lost to Michigan State in Basketball

KnitTech said...

Some of those are too funny. Nice to have you back!

Suzanne said...

Pulls up to Travis' comment and states with absolutely no trepidation,

YOU KILL F****** ME!!!

XO

catscratch said...

I'd rather have a poor boy with an adequate wee wee any day. At least that's how I feel today...

I'd have to kick Clay Aiken's ass because, let's face it, can Clay really kick anybody's ass?