Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Mud on the Diapers

I've got some big news
The underpants navy finally came through
And I'm holdin' the keys to the start of a new day
Have feelings of delight and fright
How about a high five
Or maybe just send me a cupcake

There's a place I know where “It’s All About Me” runs out
And I get to try on the Daddy pants
Come on now what do you say
I can hardly wait to deal with mud on the diapers

'Cause it's kinda wild
To be out there knowin’ my wife is with child
Wake up and call the baby hotline
I've got to admit I am on cloud nine
It's fatherhood and I never thought I would get there
You got to know I am going to be dealing with mud on the diapers

Is this the end of mankind?
Mr. Shife becoming a dad might be a sign
I sure hope I don’t have to get a pap smear
We get to start shopping in baby town
Quincy is not going to be a happy hound
But I’ll thank my lucky stars at Baby Shifley’s world premiere

I hope he or she doesn’t grow up and dress like fashion mogul Jacobim Mugatu
And now I am never going to get to retire
And then with a little luck there won’t be much upchuck
When I am dealing with mud on the diapers

'Cause it's kinda wild
To be out there knowin’ my wife is with child
Wake up and call the baby hotline
I've got to admit I am on cloud nine
It's fatherhood and I never thought I would get there
You got to know I am going to be dealing with mud on the diapers

And then with a little luck there won’t be much upchuck
When I am dealing with mud on the diapers



So I know I joke quite a bit on this blog o' mine, but what you read is true; Mrs. Shife and I are expecting a baby this spring.
I tried to do something unique so I took a song by Brad Paisley called "Mud on the Tires" and made it "Mud on the Diapers."
My life is never going to be the same and I can't wait.

18 comments:

Random Chick said...

WOW!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!

I have much advice to give you, none of which will help you in the least. Because any advice you get is crap...every child and every new parent just needs to wing it. No one really knows what they are doing anyway. That's how we've survived as a species.

BTW, if you want suggestions on a place to go eat and celebrate go to my blog. ;-)

Travis Erwin said...

Congrats! I could lie and say it's easy being a parent, but I won't. I will say it is fun more times than not and well worth any hardships.

Mr. Shife said...

Thank you both for your congrats. Mrs. Shife and I definitely do not know what we are doing so it should be a fun ride. We know it is going to have its ups and downs but it will be the best thing that ever happened to us.

The Rev said...

Congratulations, sir! Seriously good news, not only for you, but for the gene pool as well, which isn't cringing in fear like it did with Britney, Jamie Lynn and other assorted brain-dead celebritards.

Suzanne said...

CONGRATULATIONS to you, your wife and dog!!!!! Exciting times ahead and our family wishes you all the best. As RC said, "Just wing it as a parent!" Personally I hope you have a daughter who grows up to be as smart and challenging as your wife, me, Random Chick, Cece, Leah, Kylie, Gig, Hillary Clinton and Martha Stewart combined. Good luck with that!

Just got off the phone with Cece and she laughed when I said you were with child. She said "You kiddin'" I replied, "Nope!" She replied, "How beautiful." And yes, how beautiful.

Love you dear friend.

Seriously, what an awesome moment. You're tool worked. WOW!!!

Mr. Shife said...

Thanks Suzanne and Rev. Really appreciate your comments.
And yes Suzanne my tool does indeed work. It was quite nice to discover that the underpants navy could still do their job.

billy pilgrim said...

congratulations!!

you now have a purpose in life.

don't let anyone scare you, being a parent is a piece of cake. just turn on sesame street and let the learning begin.

oh yeah, dr seuss ain't bad either.

Cecile said...

I am so excited for you! Life as you know it is now officially over. But you have to remember to keep your sense of humor through all of it, and don't listen to any of those horror stories that you will hear this entire pregancy. Tell Mrs. Shife not to listen to them either. They are designed to frighten and nothing else. Oh yes, they may pretend to mean well, but in reality that are just trying to paint the most horrible picture possible. Parenthood is wonderful, irritating, rewarding, and thankless all rolled up into a huge expensive package. It totally changes your life, your views on life, and your perspective on many levels. But you can do it with a little help from your friends. Congrats and good luck, trust me, you will need it.

Cece

Suzanne said...

Hey!!! You'll be a great dad. I can tell. I'm looking forward to the posts. I'm certain everyone else is too!!!

Love ya! Get some rest. No really. Get some rest.

Essentially Me said...

Congratulations!!! Exciting times lay ahead of you!

:)

Leah said...

Yay for you and Mrs. Shife! My husband and I both agree, through all the ups and downs, that our daughter is the best thing that ever happened to us.

hugs to you both.

swedishnurse said...

How exciting!!! Congratulations!!!

TOPolk said...

Congrats! Can I call dibs on being the drunk godfather?

Jon said...

As I said before, congratulations to the both of you. It's nice to see good people having kids rather than...well..just run down to Wal-Mart. You'll see what I mean.

Woozie said...

Name your kid Jude or Lucy, that way they can think Lennon/McCartney wrote a song just for them.

The Duck said...

Oh my goodness. Why do I have to discover this sort of news on a blog huh? I expect phone calls for these sorts of things you SOB. Congratulations. You have no idea what you're in for...

INNER VOICES said...

huh? i thought i posted a comment here already? damn brain... anyway congrats on producing another little oxygen robber... hahahahahaaaa.... just kidding on you man! sounds like you are quite happy and content with things at the moment!

Phats said...

WOW!!! that's awesome shife, CONGRATS to you and your wife. I am sure you'll be a great dad.