Boob tube

Euphemism - A word or phrase that is used in place of another that is thought to be too strong or unpleasant. For example, "He is a little person" instead of "He is a sawed-off bastard."
Well I never thought I would hear a euphemism for jerking off during an adjustable gastric band commercial. But then again I never thought I would be watching Olympic badminton matches.
So what are these magical words that made me giggle like a 12-year-old boy.
Drum roll please.
I want to do karate with my little warrior.

Watch the commercial here and you will hear it in the first few seconds.


Anonymous said…

You actually allowed us to comment! And I'm FIRST!!!!!!!!!

You so totally made my day.

Welcome back!
Mr. Shife said…
OH. MY. GOD. Right back at you.
I will see how it goes. I am not expecting to perform like Michael Phelps or anything but I will do my best. I might be like the equivalent of the alternate on the Estonian trampoline team.
fucking right on!!! comments are back on!! woooo hoooo!!!

*looks for a good place to casually leave some midget porn laying around, finds table in corner next to couch and pills some mags and a few dvds for people to find*

welcome back dude.
The Duck said…
Well, you didn't even mention the "I want to kiss him under the Eiffel Tower" comment, which could be considered equally lewd.
billy pilgrim said…
beauty, i hope he can get a sub prime loan for his gastric elastic band.

great to have you back in the saddle.
tiggysmum70 said…
Glad to see you posting again!!!! I loved the comment! ROFL

Hope all is going better for you!!

Jonathan said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jon said…
Thanks to that, I've already spilled coffee on myself while laughing. I hope you're happy!
Great to see you back around, even if it is just once in a while.
(The deleted comment was me)
cher said…
I had a cat "back in the day" called B.A. I told people it meant Bad Ass, but it always meant Brian Adams in my heart. I would have told people the truth, but it would have cut like a knife.

Laughed my ass at that rewritten song of his. I do that all the time. I should start making notes now and then when a particularily funny one pops into my dim-witted mind.

Oh, tell Quincy that he left his collar here last night. Man that is one crazy hound you have on your hands. Wait... is that a Euphemism?
meh, cher rears her head here but no where else... lucky you mrs. hife!!!

its funny cause i came here with the intent of writing a funny comment about how i hoped you would just pop up for ghost posts like cher.

*sticks tongue out at cher*
angel, jr. said…
Can little warriors karate back?
tina said…
hahaha nice - the last few posts have me rolling off my love seat - yay for exercise! ;)

Glad to see you writing again sweetie
Amy Flanagan said…
I hope someday you end up making millions of dollars from this blog because then I could tell my kids, "Do what you love. This one guy became a millionaire by pointing out euphemisms for jacking off heard during weight loss band commercials." I mean, that would be a coup.
Excellent. Carry on.
Penelope said…
I'm going to be thinking about that all day long. It's just too funny.

Good to see you around again Shifey!!!