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Euphemism - A word or phrase that is used in place of another that is thought to be too strong or unpleasant. For example, "He is a little person" instead of "He is a sawed-off bastard."
Well I never thought I would hear a euphemism for jerking off during an adjustable gastric band commercial. But then again I never thought I would be watching Olympic badminton matches.
So what are these magical words that made me giggle like a 12-year-old boy.
Drum roll please.
I want to do karate with my little warrior.

Watch the commercial here and you will hear it in the first few seconds.

Comments

  1. Anonymous8/21/2008

    OH. MY. GOD.

    You actually allowed us to comment! And I'm FIRST!!!!!!!!!

    You so totally made my day.

    Welcome back!
    XOXOXO
    RC

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr. Shife8/21/2008

    OH. MY. GOD. Right back at you.
    I will see how it goes. I am not expecting to perform like Michael Phelps or anything but I will do my best. I might be like the equivalent of the alternate on the Estonian trampoline team.

    ReplyDelete
  3. INNER VOICES8/21/2008

    fucking right on!!! comments are back on!! woooo hoooo!!!

    *looks for a good place to casually leave some midget porn laying around, finds table in corner next to couch and pills some mags and a few dvds for people to find*

    welcome back dude.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Duck8/21/2008

    Well, you didn't even mention the "I want to kiss him under the Eiffel Tower" comment, which could be considered equally lewd.

    ReplyDelete
  5. billy pilgrim8/21/2008

    beauty, i hope he can get a sub prime loan for his gastric elastic band.

    great to have you back in the saddle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Melanie Miday-Stern8/21/2008

    Glad to see you posting again!!!! I loved the comment! ROFL

    Hope all is going better for you!!

    Melanie

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jon8/22/2008

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jon8/22/2008

    Thanks to that, I've already spilled coffee on myself while laughing. I hope you're happy!
    Great to see you back around, even if it is just once in a while.
    (The deleted comment was me)

    ReplyDelete
  9. cher8/22/2008

    I had a cat "back in the day" called B.A. I told people it meant Bad Ass, but it always meant Brian Adams in my heart. I would have told people the truth, but it would have cut like a knife.

    Laughed my ass at that rewritten song of his. I do that all the time. I should start making notes now and then when a particularily funny one pops into my dim-witted mind.

    Oh, tell Quincy that he left his collar here last night. Man that is one crazy hound you have on your hands. Wait... is that a Euphemism?

    ReplyDelete
  10. INNER VOICES8/22/2008

    meh, cher rears her head here but no where else... lucky you mrs. hife!!!


    its funny cause i came here with the intent of writing a funny comment about how i hoped you would just pop up for ghost posts like cher.


    *sticks tongue out at cher*

    ReplyDelete
  11. JM8/22/2008

    Can little warriors karate back?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous8/23/2008

    hahaha nice - the last few posts have me rolling off my love seat - yay for exercise! ;)

    Glad to see you writing again sweetie

    ReplyDelete
  13. Amy Flanagan8/23/2008

    I hope someday you end up making millions of dollars from this blog because then I could tell my kids, "Do what you love. This one guy became a millionaire by pointing out euphemisms for jacking off heard during weight loss band commercials." I mean, that would be a coup.
    Excellent. Carry on.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Penelope8/24/2008

    I'm going to be thinking about that all day long. It's just too funny.

    Good to see you around again Shifey!!!

    Karen

    ReplyDelete

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