Howdy strangers

Hey it's me. Sorry for the longer than anticipated break. I knew coming back to work after a vacation was going to be less than pleasant. So I was mentally ready to be in the Black Hole of Suck on Tuesday. However, I did not realize that I bought a two-day pass to the BHOS, and I am just now emerging from the suckiness.
Please pardon the smell but the suckubus is not easily removed.
So what's new?
Did you miss me?
I thought of you often. So I drank. And by the end of the night I didn't even know who I was.
Actually I had a wonderful time on my vacation - thanks for asking - and I am glad to be back home.
Still a little crestfallen because I don't get to see my family as often as I wish. So I drank some more.
OK enough about my liquid intake for the week and back to my post.
I spent 5 days with my 5-year-old nephew, and we had quite the time. I will share some of those adventures later.
But man oh man is it exhausting entertaining a little dude.
I have gone through 8 weeks of boot camp, spent 5 years living in North Dakota, watched an entire episode of Oprah, stayed awake 55 hours straight while I was on duty in the Navy, drove 36 hours to Mexico, went on a two-week drinking binge, had a threesome with Playboy Playmates (oh wait - that was a dream from high school), and I have run three half-marathons.
But none of that compares to keeping a 5-year-old content.
A tip of the hat to all of you parents out there. You do work.


  1. Anonymous5/29/2008

    Yay! glad to see you back :)

    Just know that I share the BHOS with you - could it be the same or are there many BHOS's...?! I just dont know...but I'm ready to disappear into one :)

    Can't hang out here long..watchin High Fidelity. Great movie :) hehe

    Ta for now

  2. Anonymous5/29/2008

    LOL... there's another vote for the "no kids" category!

    Glad you're back! :-)

  3. Anonymous5/29/2008

    You'd better believe it's hard to entertain a 5 year-old AND a 2 year-old...let alone teach them the right stuff, keep them out of trouble, feed them, bathe them....AHHHHHH! I need a vacation!

    Oh yea, glad you're back! Missed you!!!

  4. Anonymous5/29/2008

    Hey, glad your back. I never get to see you anymore when I am over there, as you hide away in your dark little office, without plants, without life. I worry about that. Please dont withdraw. Dont fade away. Step out of your offie and breath in the air of the open cubicle wasteland, i mean, cubucle dreamland. Its like Oz really. Anyhooo....5 year old huh? ya know....Scarlett would be happy to spend time with you if you need that in your life. She loves people, running, and bright pink nail polish. OH and Tina- High Fidelity is a really GREAT movie. Catch you later M! =D S&S

  5. LOVE High Fidelity. . .

    Anyway, I'm glad you're back.

    You will be jealous: Monday is my last day in the Black Hole of Suck and I don't have to go back until August 20th (I think).

    I'm counting the days.


  6. Perusing your blog from some of the funny comments you've left at Karen's (I mean Penelope's). Nice place ya got here...

    Didn't know you were gone but Welcome Back! I have a 4 and almost 7 year old, so Amen to them being little energy vampires. Aww, but they're worth it.

    p.s. I know what cornhole is.

  7. Parenthood is all about benign neglect, otherwise one would lose one's mind...

  8. Anonymous5/30/2008

    I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation. It is crazy/busy with kids. When I'm around my friend's 4 & 7 year old boys it wears me out. When I think I'm ready for a little one, I just go and hang out there for awhile and then it makes me realize, I enjoy me too much to take care of someone else lol

  9. I have a four year old niece and a six year old niece; believe me sir, I understand.

  10. i missed you like crazy.

    don't get discouraged. with a little practice you can look after a kid blindfolded with one hand tied behind you back.

  11. glad you survived the rigors of a 5 year old activity director. I have a 5 and seven year old and I can't always keep up but when I'm tired I can baffle them with bullshit and buy myself some much needed rest.

  12. Hey, welcome back!!

  13. So glad you're back! the blog world was dull and boring without you.

    If you like I will send you my family, I get tired of them quickly.

    Agree tip of the hat to all parents who do it correctly of course

  14. Kids will wear you out, no question. I don't even think I can keep up with the Playmates at my age. Wait, yeah I can. I'd have no chance at the boot camp though, unless it was a Playmate boot camp of some kind.

  15. Anonymous6/03/2008

    bummer man, your recent two posts wont let me comment :( or perhaps you sly guy did that for a reason, uh huh.... ;)

    Take care and yep, I'll still be here and I'll leave the light on!

  16. yeah, no commenting on those posts...errr... hope the shit doesnt get you in too deep man. c'mon back as soon as you can eh?

  17. Heck, yeah, blogging can be a torment when one isn't in the space--but I hope you're back too--take care


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