Wednesday, March 05, 2008

It is Hofficial

HOLLYWOOD -- David Hasselhoff endorsed Mr. Shife for president on Wednesday, saying the dumb, white guy has the "character, courage and perseverance" to lead the country.

Mr. Shife thanked The Hoff for his support and all the work he has done for getting chest hair the recognition it rightly deserves.


"I appreciate his endorsement, and I appreciate his service to our country," said Mr. Shife, adding that he wanted "Baywatch" reruns at his side as much as possible on the campaign trail.


"Whatever he wants me to do, I want him to win," The Hoff said, who was challenged by inner thigh chafing during his "Knight Rider" days. But he said in 2008 those irritations from wearing nut-hugging pants are no longer a problem.


"It's not about me or my things. Don't hassle The Hoff," The Hoff said.


Addressing the calls for change in the presidential campaign, The Hoff said Mr. Shife would be true to one of his favorite countries, Germany.


"The Germans love The Hoff, and Mr. Shife is not gonna change policies when it comes to spreading the Hoff love in Deutschland," The Hoff said of the blogger from Idaho.


Protecting the American beaches with beautiful, top-heavy actors was the No. 1 job of a president and Mr. Shife understood that, The Hoff said.


"He's gonna be a president who will bring the same determination I brought when I put on those red swim trunks and glistened," The Hoff said.


Mr. Shife needed a lot of delegates to secure the nomination and had zero after Tuesday's voting, according to CNN estimates. And with The Hoff's endorsement, according to CNN estimates Mr. Shife still has zero delegates.


Mr. Shife said with the nomination about as realistic as his dreams of saying "El precio es errĂ³neo, Roberto," on El Salvador's popular version of The Price is Right, he would begin exploring the possible ramifications of wearing a Wham t-shirt to a Hells Angels convention.


17 comments:

INNER VOICES said...

"DONT HASSEL THE HOFF!" heh heh, why cant we all have cool fucking names like that? i'll give you my vote! not going to vote for the dream ticket... you?

Random Chick said...

YAY! Finally a nominee who represents us f$%^ed up people! I'll wear my Wham Tshirt with pride...and light a candle in my Hasselhoff shrine. ;-)

Phats said...

You got my vote!

I thought of you the other day, I was channel surfing and saw they have added baywatch reruns to the ION channel.

KnitTech said...

I was all for voting for you, until "Protecting the American beaches with beautiful, top-heavy actors..." I'm not ready for that.

cher said...

I guess the S.A.S.S.Y. is always the last to know. Man, I probably have a lot to do right now... what with the campaign and all. So, just let me know when I can start canvassing door to door and stuff. I think this will make a lot of sense for people in my area.

Penelope said...

Good luck with the Wham! t shirt.

I'm sure the boys will love it.

Sorry about the election. Mr. Shife was not on the ballot in Texas. Had I known you were a viable option, I would have pulled out a lipstick and scrawled your name across the ballot.

-- Karen

R2K said...

: )

Ron, apparently said...

If I were allowed to vote, I would probably become a lethargic American and not bother.
I would not bother to vote for you, though.

Jillian said...

LOL!

If the Hoff supports you then so do I! :-D

Cecile said...

So was the Hoff in a drunken stupor when he gave you his endorsement? Oh wait a minute, he is in a drunken stupor most of the time now isn't he. Well, I bet you two a wonderfully ambiguously drunk duo. Have a great weekend, Mr. President.

billy pilgrim said...

excellent plan!

when the hoff wins the oscar for best actor in 2012, his endorsement will be as good as gold.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Even better, wear that "Choose Life" shirt that George Michael's wears in the "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" video. I give you nine minutes until you're beaten to death with a beer soaked side car.

tina said...

haha awesome - and of course all i keep thinking when i read your blog these days is...this guy needs to be a writer :)

ha im with phats, I was watching SpyGame movie the other day and the japanese guys were watchin baywatch and you came to mind! lol

Phats said...

Congrats to the HEELS shife! good win tonight

Design Goddess said...

Where the heck were you on the March 4th Ohio ballot?!?!?!

cher said...

so hurtful mr shife

angel, jr. said...

I think that Hollywood endorsements are the way to go. And congrats on getting the Hoff to back you up.