Sunday, January 27, 2008

More Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Do you ever look at your feet and wonder if they could become part-time foot models?

  • I saw “Cloverfield.” It was pretty good, but if you have a problem with motion sickness this is not the movie for you. And I was sad to see that people actually spent money to watch “Meet the Spartans” I guess can’t be too critical because when I was a teenager I was watching stuff like “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.” I am officially old now.

  • Politics rarely makes it way on to this blog mainly because I think most politicians are self-serving ass hats. I am always optimistic someone will change that opinion of mine. I hope Barack Obama is that guy.

  • When did ESPN becoming Entertainment Tonight? Stories about Tom Brady’s ankle or where Tony Romo spent his vacation. Here is the deal ESPN I don’t need any more verbal foreplay – you have sealed the deal. Less talk, more action. Just drop your pants and show me some highlights.

  • How do you know when fish goes bad? Does it start to smell funny?

  • Pig roasts are so sad because you know when the pig died – trying to eat an apple.

  • Steak is the tuxedo of meats and bologna is its retarded cousin. When you eat steak you feel special, and when you eat bologna you might be special. (Thank you Jim Gaffigan – you are one funny, pale dude)

  • Super Bowl Sunday – so who are you pulling for? I am rooting for the Giants, but I am also rooting for some awesome commercials. Will the Careerbuilder monkeys be back? One can only hope. I love those damn monkeys.


  • Bare balls bareback – great band name or gymnastics maneuver?

  • Anyone been on a Duck Hunt? He has been missing for a little bit now, and so has Phats. Maybe they are hanging out together exchanging lasagna recipes. Or maybe they have relocated to New Jersey to hang out with some of these dudes. Seriously these dudes are whack jobs.

  • 15 comments:

    cher said...

    are they ever wack jobs. what's with the poo smeared all over their faces? and they all have the same hair do. that was just really really odd. i was going to go look again, but i think i'll go on a duck hunt instead.

    the steak bit was really funny. retarded cousin ahha

    angel, jr. said...

    Maybe Phats and Duck are hiding with Waldo.

    billy pilgrim said...

    feet don't fail me now. i use them every day and appreciate them even if they're ugly and have zero chance of making me any money.

    i wish i had a few spares.

    Jon said...

    I could never become a foot model. I think I have Hobbit feet.

    thisdayandage said...

    so you're going for the giants...I'm from new england so I'm sure you can guess who everyone here wants to win. I don't really care, and like you...I'm all for the commercials.

    in reference to your last post...a good team name could also be The Blue Ballers. probably not sending very good messages about anyone on your team, but still. although I do like McGlovin' better.

    ...love the blog. very funny :)

    Travis Erwin said...

    Bare balls bareback

    Or an event at the all nude rodeo.

    Penelope said...

    "Self serving ass hats"???

    How on earth did you come up with that???

    It creates a fabulous picture. Very descriptive.

    -- P

    KnitTech said...

    Cloverfield was great. I won't even go see the sacrilege movie about the Spartans. That's just wrong.

    It's amazing where porn turns up...

    Rocky (Racquel) said...

    Go Giants!!

    The Egg said...

    Hahahaha! You kick ass with your expressions. Self-serving ass hats:) Luved it! Duh I have to come back here more often. Sorry that I disappeared. I figured you'd forgive me since I had a good excuse:)

    Cecile said...

    My dad always told me there are three things you never discuss with friends: religion, politics, and sex. Let's see, you mentioned Football (which is a religon in my book) Baracka (covers politics),and wack jobs. But I think we can still be friends. As far as politics go, I prefer Hillary. I think our country could use another 8 years of HillBilly in the white his. But Baracka would be alright too. The president just need to be an Ass, that's my only job requirement.

    The Reverend Jon Boles said...

    Hope you are doing well, sir. I used to be uber-political (as you well remember, no doubt) but I've lost interest. Frankly, I'm so deeply cynical about the state of affairs that I haven't even kept up with this cycle. Can't think of any candidate that actually does it for me. Guess I'm with ya on the "ass hat" thing.

    Design Goddess said...

    Did you also spend money on The Naked Gun series?

    Perhaps the Phat Ducks are lying on a beach somewhere getting great tans like the "whack jobs."

    TOPolk said...

    "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka!" was cinematic masterpiece...and probably the best effort by any member of the Wayans family at being funny on the big screen. You should feel no shame on spending money on it.

    Ron, apparently said...

    With the greatest respect to Mr.Topolk there, but a Wayans brother could film themselves eating a bowl of their favourite cereal and be the funniest thing they've achieved cinematically.
    Or not.What do I know?