Captain Miserable

Do you know who that follicly-challenged gentleman is? Well, he is funny, and his name is Dave Attell. Dave recently performed a comedy special on HBO in which he enlightened and entertained me and I imagine millions of others. Dave had a great idea and I would like to share it with my beloved blog readers.

Ideas for Jagermeister commercials:

#1 -- A guy comes out of a hedge. He is covered in mud and blood. He is holding one high-heeled shoe.
"Did I just eat a stripper?"


#2 -- A little girl is sitting on the swing - not swinging. A tear rolls down her cheek.
"Where's Daddy?"


#3 -- A guy, let's call him me, is screwing the left eye of a pumpkin. OK. If that pumpkin didn't want it why was it smiling at me.


I don't know if any of you have had the pleasure of drinking too much Jagermeister, but I have done it several times, and those commercial ideas are not that far-fetched. There are usually some wild and crazy shenanigans involved when someone breaks out that green bottle. So be careful out there. I don't what you ending up shivering on the roof of a gay bar sucking on what you hope is an icicle.


cher said…
oh mr.shife! your last sentence cracked me right up and now i've woken up one of my kids. so thanks for that.

ahhh yes, jagger- i know it well. i love it personally. the last time i drank it, my 80+year old neighbour had to walk me home. i only remember the first few feet of our journey, but apparently i fell in a ditch and he laughed his ass off at me before helping me up and shoving me in my house. i woke up on my kitchen floor on the phone. nice. again...another good reason why i don't have your phone number.
Jon said…
Jager is nothing but pure evil concentrated in a bottle. The few time I've drank it...well, how long is the statute of limitations?? (Kidding!).
billy pilgrim said…
jagermeister in honor of goring. thanks, i learned something today. you're not kidding about the gay bar.

have you seen the ogre, excellent portrayal of mr goring.
GrillTech said…
Yes, is off subject, but there is a pary in the beginning of the movie. If you haven't seen Cloverfield yet, run, dont walk but run to the next showing. This is a knock your socks off kind of awesome movie.

Note - this ad not paid for by jj abrams. However I will accept payment if he wants to send it.
Anonymous said…
look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site
Tonight I found myself chugging out of a champaign bottle, despite having to work early tomorrow: Jaeger.
TOPolk said…
Man. Jagr is the nectar of the devil. So sweet and delicious but full of no good. I've had nights go from Awesome-to-Trainwreck after 1 Jagrbomb (Jagremiester & Red Bull) too many.

I seriously think I've lost years off my life due to that green bottle.
Design Goddess said…
I loved his show on Comedy Central. Apparently, he's not doing it anymore. Funny, funny man!
Travis Erwin said…
Hey, it's a trend I recently made mention of the Jolly Green Bottle of Death myself.
angel, jr. said…
My good buddy drank way too much of that stuff on his 21st birthday!! Very amusing.
Cecile said…
Honestly, I must be too straight laced to leave a comment on here. I have never ingested jager, but has anyone ever heard of cisco? I used to drink that EWwwH. You people are interesting, all of you.
Big Ben said…
If your lip sticks, you're fine, icicle. If it doesn't, you're gay.

I've never drank too much (since monday).
Panda Rosa said…
Something tells me these are never going to be made, but I do like the pumpkin one.
sexy said…