Random Acts of Shifeness

  • Do you know what happens when three Labradors enjoy a gallon of canola oil? If you guessed “Projectile Dog Vomit” you are correct. At a family gathering the four-legged furballs got into the oil, and the fun began. The dogs puked all night and day, and the highlight (at least to a juvenile like me) was seeing vomit spread all over the screen door for the back deck. This vomit was not at the bottom of the door but in the middle of the door so one of these beasts really unloaded with some force. By the way Projectile Dog Vomit is a great name for a band if I must say so myself.
  • Thank you to the kind soul who signed me up for the neckne of the month club. I have received a brand, spanking-new Frankenstein bolt for the last three months. It is awesome. Thank you so much for the unbridled joy this painful facial monster has bestowed upon me.
  • I thought of a good stripper name. Prayer. Oh the marketing possibilities you can have with that name. The power of Prayer. On your knees ladies and gentleman for Prayer time. Your Prayer has been answered.
    I know I need to get out of the house more.
  • Does anyone else have a problem with Happy Hour? Not the concept but the fact that it is grammatically incorrect. I don’t know too many establishments that actually have Happy Hour. They have Happy Hours, but not one hour of happiness. Usually Happy Hour is from 4:30 to 6:30 which the last time I checked is two hours, and therefore it should be called Happy Hours.

Like I said I before I need to get out of the house more.
Maybe some Prayer can help my neckne.

Have a good weekend.


  1. ahh, yes!...your still funny...

  2. Those poor dogs. You're right, it is funny, when it's at someone else's house.

  3. hahaha


    Oh yea and happy hour is 6-9 in the groovy hole in the wall next to mah job - lotsa happy hoursss ;)

  4. Forget the canola oil. That involves cleaning up dog puke (which would be another good name for a band if you ask me). No, for a really entertaining evening, give your dogs some chocolate-covered espresso beans.
    Okay. Some "experts" will tell you that chocolate can kill a dog. However, they are not speaking of my dogs. But try this at your own risk.
    My dogs ate a little baggie of these treats once and quite literally, BOUNCED OFF THE WALLS.
    Yeah. Until like two a.m.
    This was years ago and the dogs are still alive.

  5. could prayer do something with 3 labs and a gallon of oil in her act?

    ruby pilfered a decent sized salmon one day. she fertilized the grass real good for a few days.

  6. Since it was Canola Oil, I would have thought the vomit wouldn't stick to anything and just run down onto the floor.

  7. Prayers sidekick should be hope --so we can all have a hope and a prayer.

  8. Dg and travis both made me smile really big. funny stuff.
    i love your random thoughts. and thanks for reminding me of one more reason i don't have a dog. i can't imagine the poop would have been much fun to scoop either.

    so i know you don't exactly claim this fake bastard baby as yours yet, but if you are curious to see a belly shot, swing by my blog.

    hope you and the mrs. are having a great weekend.

  9. ah i get the meaning now...of neckne hehe I'm a lil slow this weekend ;)

  10. Hey, Cher, cleaning up dog poop is a blast, especially in the winter.

    When you slip a plastic newspaper sleeve over your hand and pick up fresh poop, you've got a really a nifty handwarmer.

  11. glad to see you're still a goof, shife.

    What's wrong with your neck that people are sending you stuff?


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