Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Say hello to the peter heater

I found the perfect stocking stuffer for the man in your life.

You can thank me later.

I would like to introduce you to the man mitt.
What is a man mitt, Mr. Shife?
Well here is the online description I found with my thoughts included at no extra cost to you.


This Man Mitt is called “Jingle all the Way!” (Evidently the Holiday Ball Shawl was already trademarked.) This is a hand-knitted (That is going

to look impressive on the resume) seamless male undergarment accessory created for comfort and warmth (Nothing says Happy Holidays like sweaty balls). The crocheted tie makes this piece adjustable (So you can hang yourself later if you are caught in them) for a comfortable fit. This Man Mitt is made with very soft chunky yarn (I love me some chunky yarn on my privates) for comfort and easy care. (I can’t wait to put this on the clothesline). It features two tiny bells (So when you wear them when you travel you can get a full cavity search at the airport) attached to the tie. Ring-a-ding-a-ding! (Oh I just threw up a little bit in my mouth) Jingle all the way! (Does yarn cause shrinkage?)


Whether it's for function or fun (It will make a great gag gift. You drop your pants. Significant other throws up.) This is definitely a unique (If you are mispronouncing retarded when you say unique then you are correct) gift giving idea for him. It's warm and cozy and quite the conversation piece. (Just think about all of the conversations you have had at the Christmas party about your fancy new underwear. The number must be mind-boggling.)

And of course if you're looking for something different for her it also makes a handy dandy little coin purse with side cell phone pocket. (Hey hon, are your underwear clean? I need to borrow them because my other coin purse with a side cell phone pocket is being worn by my dad.)

25 comments:

Airam said...

Now I'm sure that's definitely a gift that is non-returnable unless washed in bleach.

angel, jr. said...

I'm wondering if it comes with the little jingle bells on them.

tina said...

haha hope this could not be mistaken for a trojan hehe is this real?! lol

Emily said...

That is a willy warmer!

LOL Do you know that there is a whole fetish subculture that is into knitted stuff? I swear. Search around google for a bit and you might be surprised.

Don't ask me how I know this cause I ain't tellin! (that's some West Virginia talk for you just to give you warm fuzzies... )

The Duck said...

Ah, my wife beat me to it. I was going to say that I've seen those before being called Willy Warmers, which has a much nicer ring to it than Man Mitt.

I especially like how it looks like a mitten for someone with a gigantic thumb.

AaroN said...

ROFL!

A blog entry worth forwarding! Thanks for the good laugh.

honkeie2 said...

I hope it comes with a warning that it does not protect agaist stds or pregnancy and that the maker of this product will not be held liable for any rashes, crothch critters or rug burns.
there are alot of stoppid ppl out there, have to cover all bases with this people.

KnitTech said...

Well damn, there goes your Christmas gift this year.

cher said...

oh mr.shife!!! that is friggin HA-larious! way too funny.... ahh, very nice, since i hadn't laughed today yet. your personal thoughts were so funny.
i think they have a whole untapped animal market there too. maybe you and the fat basset will get matching ones for christmas from mrs.shife!

oh, and Angel-pay attention.

Ms. Moon said...

Does this come in any other colors?
Just askin'.

tina said...

Aaron put it best "a blog entry worth forwarding"...I feel that way about a lot of your posts - you should really write for publication!! :)

The Egg said...

I can't stop laughing!! Where do you come up with this stuff?! You're too funny.

Luke said...

You should model this piece.

the rube said...

of course you'd need several in different colors to match your tie.

honey, which warmer should i wear with this tie?

missy said...

Have you been knitting?! :-)

inherwritemind1 said...

tina said...
Aaron put it best "a blog entry worth forwarding"...I feel that way about a lot of your posts - you should really write for publication!! :)


I agree. You never fail to slay me.

Tena-with-an-e

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Ball Shall!!!!! Hahahahahha.

That would be itchy . . .

Design Goddess said...

I guess it could be for those guys who aren't quite ready to go commando?

Travis Erwin said...

Okay tnow that my ribs hurt I have to say tht one beats the OhMiBod gift I posted over at Awesome Amalgamations.

Phats said...

Hmm I was hoping by the time I got back around to blogs you'd have a new post up because I am just not sure what to say here? ha

Big Ben said...

I need one, do they come come in a small?

Gabby Girl said...

If it came in silk, I'd buy it. Heh.

cfoley said...

hahahahahaaaaa

cleanfun said...

Find your very own man mitt at www.cocksock.net as well as the humor you would expect!

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