Dear Redheaded Friend,
I find it hard asking someone to make love. I guess we all do.
But when Save the Redheads, one of the most respected redheaded agencies (OK it is the only one), asked me to volunteer to raise erections to help the redheads of the world, I knew I had to do it. Wouldn’t you?
The brutal truth is that thousands of redheads around the world die each day when people like you selfishly use contraception. Sure gonorrhea sucks, but isn’t it more important to try and make a redhead.
We are not saying you have to provide child support or be in their lives. Does the phrase redheaded stepchild ring a bell? Just get out there and make some sweet sassy molassey.
The proven solutions that are widely-known to get a female to drop her pants include large amounts of alcohol, diamonds, or a bulky checking account. Plus you are famous now. This is bigger than save the whales. Use it to your advantage.
Save the Redheads also provides programs to enable redheads to get their game on and help them start crushing you know what. Your underpants navy can make so many young lives. Please get busy humping or get busy dying.
The ‘Make a Difference’ campaign is a special project where people like me let you know that is not OK to have protected sex. Will you give your sperm today? An urgently needed gift of 3, 4 or even 5 redheaded children would be a tremendous help and your support will help Save the Redheads. On behalf of the redheads, Thank You!