Monday, October 22, 2007

Random Acts of Shifeness

  • I know most of you must be reeling from the big Harry Potter news. Dumbledore is gay. Holy Muggles. I was just as surprised as the rest of you. I thought everyone in Harry Potter was gay too.
  • The following blog post was supposed to contain scenes of brief nudity. But Quincy is not good with a camera. Did you know dogs don't have thumbs?
  • Have you heard of a bucket list? You basically make a list of things to do if you know when you are going to kick the bucket. I could make a list as big as the fat basset's appetite but if I honestly knew when I was going to die there are three things I would definitely do.
    1) have a living wake with all my family and friends, 2) perform at an open mic night at a comedy club, and 3) watch the sunset with Mrs. Shife where we spent our honeymoon in Mexico.
  • So would you want to know when you are going to die?
  • I am huge in Canada.
  • And Mexico.
  • And Japan.
  • Finally, after years of searching I have found my house of worship.


15 comments:

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I hope you don't die, but if you do, count me in for the living wake.

Airam said...

They should've made Voldermort be gay. Now that would've been news worthy.

Jon said...

I was hoping for the all gay cast as well. Either that, or Dumbledore is a robot sent from the future to kill Harry. That would've been cool too. We haven't had a Terminator with a beard yet.

the rube said...

i can certify that your bigger in canada than celine dion.

(by about 50 lbs)

Travis Erwin said...

I have a friend who wants to start a business where upon a clients death they are called to go over before the family and clean out an individuals porn before anyone else finds it.

Skiingred said...

Open mic night at a wake.... definitely adding that one to my list.

angel, jr. said...

Wow Shife!! You are international!!

cher said...

Of COURSE you are big in Canada. Roar!!

No, I wouldn't want to know when I was going to die.

I dreamed I gave birth to a fat bassett and you were so happy. It was weird.

cher said...

oh, and dude, if you EVER do an open mike night, it should be at MY wake.

The Egg said...

Mr. Shife, you're the kind of guy that would help a brother/sister out in dire need. I wish you were here in PA to help me cope with the terrorist from work. It has been a truly awful night. Wow you've gone international! It doesn't surprise me. Have a good week. And don't die. We need you to help us mere mortals from our pains.
Love,
Egg (aka Saritha)

nutz said...

I have to think about my bucket list. I think I would like to know when I was going to die so I can get rid of certain things I don't want my mamma seeing when she cleans out my apartment. =)
Your list it great.

Big Ben said...

Well, you score well with this canuck.

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Tena said...

CresceNet said...
WHAT? Not fair! Need a translation!

A few years ago I had a scary medical situation. I thought I might die so I wrote a diary to my husband telling him where stuff was. Not my will or anything like that, but where the tupperware containers are. And the trash can liners. He's just caught on to where I keep the dogs' food. You can't go dying on someone like that.

Phats said...

Come on like anyone is shocked you're such a big hit all over the world!

The simpsons don't have thumbs either go figure