Brain Dump

  • I got a new fake ID – check it out

  • I am not telling you what to do but you should be watching “30 Rock.”
  • It is on tonight (Thursday).
  • On NBC.
  • Check your local listings.
  • What if Vince Vaughn became my neighbor?
  • Do you ever think about how you might die? Me either.
  • I have mentioned it before but I think it is time to mention it again. Spike TV programming dude you need to call me. I have a great idea for a TV show - Lap Dancing with the Stars.
  • Awesome shirt
  • If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." – Jack Handey
  • Sitting at my computer today, I realized that only drug dealers and software developers call their clients "users."
  • How can there be self-help “groups”?
  • If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
  • How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Have a great weekend.


  1. I am sorry to disappoint Shife but I don't watch 30 Rock but I enjoy Tina Fey she did some ads for American Express during the US Open.

    Nice license, that mean you're a bow now?

    That shirt was excellent!!

  2. Yeah, not a 30 Rock fan either. I tried to watch the pilot and didn't get too far.

    How long did it take you to think of Lap Dancing with the Stars?

    I LOVED Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey. He was filled with just such great wisdom. :D

    BTW, I'll see you on Springer! And I'm bringing my own chair!

  3. If the lap dance thing gets a time slot--ask if the first lap dance can be one where the Pussycat Dolls lead singer gives one of Jessica Alba.

  4. i don't know how i'm gonna die but i've seen what happens after.

    some fat guy obsessed with rules is gonna stick my ashes in a coffee tin.

  5. i love diarrhea... it's just so easy and takes little effort. maximum results with minumum effort sort of thing..

    self-help groups..haha...never thought of that!

    oh, and deer are taught from adolesence how to read street signs. how else would they know that the roads are slippery when wet and stuff?

  6. Lap Dancing with the stars needs to happen, like TOMORROW would be good.

  7. Brilliant insights Mr. Shife! That's an awesome shirt--I may order it. After all the screwups of the past 6 years, I feel that we should all celebrate the event with a kick-ass party. Anyone who violates the Constitution is a criminal. The wiretapping and fear games have not won you much support of the people. Now hand us back the power and no one will get hurt.

  8. Anonymous10/14/2007

    "If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?"

    LOL! Love that!

  9. I tried with the curse but BSU still won, but my real plan is to curse them the week of the big rivalry game with your Vandals, don't tell Duck


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