Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Conversations with the Commander-in-Chief

Occasionally I speak with the man who resides below my belt, and he is the Commander-in-Chief of the Underpants Navy (CICOTUN). I thought about making the title of the post “Conversations with my Penis,” but I am really trying to rise above vulgar language. Right. That is a load crap. I just wanted to have a more mysterious title to lure in unsuspecting Republicans.
Anyway, I do talk to the CICOTUN (If I was really smart I would have come up with an acronym spelled COK or DIK) every now and then. They are by no means devastating conversations; just the casual stuff that you would expect from a guy and his CICOTUN. For example, there was the time when I told him how cool he was because he was no longer bald or the time I begged him to go away when he decided to check out my junior high PE class. One time the CICOTUN received a lengthy scolding during my freshman year of college when he decided not to rise to the occasion after he had a little too much to drink or there was a time recently when he got a Get Well card from me because I got a little carried away with the manscaping. Our most recent conversation involved the possibility of what he would look like on TV. Now before you start thinking porno just hear me out. The CICOTUN and I are watching the HBO series, “Rome.” It is a great show, but it has a lot of violence and nudity – especially male frontal nudity. The old saying goes that TV adds 10 pounds so now do you see where this is heading. The CICOTUN was just curious what he would look like if he had to do a frontal nudity scene on TV.

I didn’t know what to tell him, and he has been asking me about it all week. Just popping up and asking if he can be on television. The CICOTUN has a hard-on for being on TV.

I have threatened to take a little blue pill and let him deal with an erection for up to four hours.

The CICOTUN has threatened to show up at the most inconvenient time like when I am a getting a physical from my doctor.

Someone is getting spanked tonight.

7 comments:

angel, jr. said...

Maybe I should try talking to mine. Lately all I've been has been handsy. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try some conversation.

Jon said...

I can only think of the words of Beavis. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stand up straight".

Tina said...

Hahahahahahaha
Well make sure you give us all a 'heads up' ahem...if CICOTUN does make an appearance on tv

At ease, Commander heheehe (tks for laughs on mah day off)

the rube said...

who rules the roost, mr cicotun or mr brain.

i think my brain is finally starting to close in on mr johnson in the decision making process.

i don't know if that's good or bad, but bask in the glory of a frisky cicotun while you can.

KnitTech said...

I heard Rome is suppose to be pretty good. Too bad, we don't have HBO.

I'm sure CICOTUN enjoyed the spanking.

cher said...

you cheer me up. there is nothing better after cleaning up puke than to log onto your blog and have you talking about conversing with your private parts.
although, i have to admit, it's all sounding like a one sided conversation to me

Design Goddess said...

I guess it's how you get away with talking to yourself, eh?