Friday, August 03, 2007

Mental Health is Overrated

Evidently I have reached my wit’s end. God that sentence makes me sound like I am 75. Pardon me, while I put on some tea, a Lawrence Welk album, and my adult diapers. OK, I need to get back on task. So basically I am running out of patience with some people I have to work with, and I am not sure what the consequences will be if I don’t channel my aggressions somewhere else. Will I go bat shit insane? Will I spend some time in jail because I sodomized their head with a spork? Will I teach a grizzly bear to play sudoku? Will I staple old family photos to my badly stained sweatpants?

See what I mean folks I think I am already losing my mind.

Maybe I just need a weekend of peace and relaxation.
Maybe I need to eat 27 pieces of pumpkin pie.
Maybe I need to find that great pumpkin Charlie Brown.
Maybe I should count all the references to Charlie Brown in Arrested Development.
Maybe I should change my name to George Michael Bluth.
Maybe I need to sing George Michael songs to my stuffed animals.

Well whatever maybe I go with I am sure it will be fun.

Have a great weekend.

14 comments:

the rube said...

maybe you could get some advice from carl weathers. i hear he's an excellent personal development coach.

cher said...

maybe you should stop setting fires at work.
i am completely insane. ask duck.
i mainly imagine tripping people. A LOT

roar.

Jon said...

Singing George Michael songs to stuffed animals is something that might attract the attention of the authorities.

angel, jr. said...

Find the Great Pumpkin!! This will prove that you are not insane.

KnitTech said...

Isn't corporate life grand? Get one of these these for your desk. When they annoy you, just throw it at them. You'll know what it means...

The Duck said...

I would appreciate it if you'd attempt to sodomize someone's head with a spork, because I'm not exactly sure how that's possible.

Oh, and shife...

You gotta have faith-ah, faith-ah, faith-ah!!!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

If you do decide to sing a George Michael song to your stuffed animal, I'd go with Everything She Wants by Wham. That's my jam. "Somebody told me, boy, everything she wants is everything she sees . . ."

The Phoenix said...

Wow...you sounds really psychotic.

Skiingred said...

Join the pack Fill the crack Well now you're here There's no way back
BANG YOUR HEAD Metal Health'll drive you mad
Metal Health'll cure your crazy
Metal Health'll cure your mad
Metal Health is what we all need It's what you have to have

Skiingred said...

wait -- just how many CB references are there in AD? Now I have to go back and watch the show again!

(Job's magic always cheered me up!)

Nutz said...

ummm I like the Lawrence Welk show (for real).

You need a vacation to get away from the people you work with..but that won't solve much b/c you'll have to go back sooner or later. Working sucks.

The Egg said...

Hope you've recovered with a slice of pumpkin pie and R&R! Wow I've missed a lot of entries. I'll catch up later.

Phats said...

You can never go wrong with too many Charlie Brown references, I was always a fan of Linus

tina said...

wow exactly what im going through...i got the smack of all insulting, underappreciated, underpaid, smacks at work two weeks ago and my attitude has been on a bitchy downward spiral ever since :)

Check please!

I've decided to go on vacation the 13th-17th or I will go insane. Let me know what you do :)