Friday, August 10, 2007

Getting my drink on

So you know what sucks? Going to work with a hangover. Holy cannoli.

I do not feel pretty right now. Mrs. Shife and I went to a concert last night, and we got there about 6:30. The show did not start until 10. Somebody in the band had a family emergency so the show got delayed. Anyway when the show did start it is safe to say that I had my drink on. I am trying to be a good worker and muddle my way through the day, but I don’t want to deal with anymore emails. I think I will put up a nice out-of-office reply. Which one do you like?

  1. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 8/18. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
  2. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  3. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
  4. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
  5. I've run away to start a midget army.
  6. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Meredith" instead of "Matt."

14 comments:

swedishnurse said...

I vote the first one.

tina said...

OMG that is so funny and you know what, I think I will use one of these myself haha - i just set my vacation message until the 20th - I think I'll go with option 4. hehe

Have an awesome time, you goin anywhere?

cher said...

what? a vacation? who do you guys think you are? didn't you go on vacation like last year?? wow. livin the high life.

i loved the first one. and the one about restarting your server. you are so funny mr.shife. do you sleep laugh?

Jon said...

I'm going to have to go with the last one. A reply that makes them feel uncomfortable always works; unless of course, they're open minded.

angel, jr. said...

Hmmm, I'm voting for the first one. It's the most honest.

the rube said...

number 2's a beauty.

mind if i use it sometime?

Tena said...

You say you're in marketing but I think your real job is ghost writing for Robin Williams.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Wait, you're going to lead your midget army as a post-op.-tranny? That is decadent!!!

Big Ben said...

I like the sex change one. Is that a true one?

tiggysmum70 said...

The first two are great, but the last one is the best!!! Great ideas!!!

Phats said...

I like the midget one.

What concert did you go too? I have never gone to work hungover, not that I could cuz I would be dead, but also fired I am guessing.

GrillTech said...

I must admit I'll be stealing all of these and using them at work. Some of them may be autoreplies in the chat program we use. Thank you for them. Payment will be 1 beer let me know where to deliver it. :>

nutz said...

What concert was it??? I like the unable to send and restart your computer..clever.

The Phoenix said...

I like the Midget army.