Monday, July 16, 2007

Suck it ESPN

When did SportsCenter become pussified?
My apologies ladies if I offend thee, but ESPN's signature show has definitely lost its man luggage. They are running this segment called Who's Now, which is a daily series in which fans and ESPN.com users help SportsCenter determine the ultimate sports star by considering both on-field success and off-field buzz to decide who is now.

Is ESPN latin for gay? I think next month SportsCenter will decide which male athlete's ass they would like to use for hand warmers. Maybe the SportsCenter hosts can start dressing like their favorite Spartan from the movie "300." I fully expect them to give each other Roman helmets.

And it gets worse. Frickin' ESPN personality Stuart Scott hosts a discussion with some talking hair-dos to get their take on Who's Now. Have you looked directly at Stuart Scott? Don't. The man has a crazy eye and it will steal your soul. Quit eyeballing me dog.

Come on Worldwide Leader in Sports get back to your roots. How about you show me highlights and then some more highlights? And then when you are done with that you can show me some more highlights.

Who's Now? I don't know. But if someone gave Stuart Scott a Roman helmet they would get my vote; however watch out for that eye.

10 comments:

Jon said...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one frightened by Stuart Scott.

The Duck said...

Yeah, Stuart Scott's a freak. That eye gets lazier every time I see him I swear.

I agree with your other thoughts about ESPN. They need to show less crap like "Who's Now" and "The Bronx is Burning", and more SPORTS.

They're following the MTV model, which no longer stands for Music TeleVision. It's obviously been changed to Made for Teens Vision instead...

angel, jr. said...

I refuse to watch Stuart Scott, the same way I refuse to watch Dr. Phil.

The Phoenix said...

I need to see more "Awesome NFL Hits." I miss those days.

Stuart's eye reminds me of the old man in Edgar Allen Poe's Tell Tale Heart.

the rube said...

put tony kornheiser on the segment. he can save any crappy segment.

they're wasting his talents on that obscure show called monday night soccer.

make pardon the interruption 2 hours long and get rid of wilbon, tony doesn't need a straightman.

cher said...

loved the made for teens vision bit duck-
oh, wait, this isn't ducks blog. it isn't even T.Leache's blog. Alas, it is Mr.Shife's blog and he's decided to rant about not getting enough sports.

Seriously, thank you for the roman helmet crash course. now i wish i had a penis so i could do this.

The Egg said...

Now I'm curious about Stuart Scott. I'm not an ESPN fanatic, but I'll watch out for this character.

Phats said...

Stuart Scott is a freak for sure, they lost me when they lost Rich Eisen! He was the man. The who's now is a little interesting though, but I can do without poker, hot dog eating, and bronx is burning. Good thing football is around the corner

Travis Erwin said...

THe other day I saw the Nationla Championship of Rock, Paper, and Scissors on ESPN2. seriously.

For some reason I consider that worse than the spelling bee. Maybe because the players were adults.

Bluefingers said...

Hmm...To think about ESPN as being pussified..LOL. Hasn't this happened to all of the good channels? This is why I no longer care to watch much TV. MTV turned into adverts and girlie contests instead of videos and in order to see a good video you have to have a mega sub to cable or a dish or something like it in order to get MTVchannel offshoot 22 or something like it.

I say we all have to revolt and say FU to all of the guys in suits who sit on their crappers making decisions as to who and what gets put on the TV. WTF do they care?

They have enough money to buy their own damn reality shows.

Sorry to get so bloggified by your post, but I miss the hockey.

Yours,

Cicily