Random Acts of Shifeness

• So what did you think of the Sopranos finale? My thoughts, in case you care, are I watch TV to be entertained and a little bit of closure would have been nice. I did say a few naughty words when the show faded to black.

• I am already disappointed with my first summer movie crush this year, “Knocked Up.” I did like the film, but I guess my expectations were a little high and I was dissatisfied. My next two crushes are “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” and “Superbad.”

• I don’t think I have ever uttered the phrase “I wish I was in Omaha,” but I really wish I could go hang out there this weekend and watch the College World Series.

• Here are a few things I don’t need to see again anytime soon: A pair of balls that people are hanging from their trailer hitch, a bumper sticker that says “My other ride has tits,” and a very scary and manly looking transsexual at our local grocery store.

• And you know what else I don’t need to see, the frickin’ volleyball scene from “Top Gun.” OK, hear me out. I am a dude watching this kick-butt movie about fighter pilots and all the cool things that go along with that like partying, flying planes, chasing girls, etc. Then we go to a scene on the beach where all these topless dudes are oiled up, rolling around in the sand, wearing some seriously tight blue jeans, and playing volleyball. It is very jarring to the heterosexual male to go from an awesome action movie to a gay porn scene.

Have a great weekend.


  1. Just for you: http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20070610

  2. the balls from the truck is just gross. I saw a NJ Piney with them on his truck the other day. It shoudl be accompanied by a bumpersticker that says "I am a douchebag"

    I want to see knocked up so bad...please say it aint so!

  3. Skii and I saw the dangling balls a couple years ago and took us a second look to realize they were what we thought they were. Nasty!!!

    the volleyball scene is for the chicks....gotta appeal to the chicks, man!

  4. I don't like the balls on the cars either. I also don't like fuzzy dice or those bobble head dolls with grass skirts.

  5. Dangling balls?! I'll be on the lookout for odd car accessories/bumper stickers. And thanks for the note about the volleyball scene!

  6. Anonymous6/15/2007

    hehehe tks for giving the male perspective on the TopGun scene. I of course never thought of it that way ;) hehe

    I saw Shrek 3, dunno what possessed me and ya, it was dumb, even for a kid....

  7. I think I have "Scary looking transsexual" covered on my Blog.

  8. I have only seen the fuzzy dice variety... are you referring to male bits?

    Gosh, America is so interesting ;-)

    Haven't seen Soprano, can you believe?!

  9. you know what i would want to see though, is a whole team of shirtless, too-tight jean wearing, volleyball spiking circus midgets named Charlie.
    have a great weekend mr.shife! i'm gone for a couple days.

    ps...i keep looking for some love from you on my fanclub wall, but everytime i leave so disappointed.

  10. I saw the balls thing last summer in West Virginia.

    Yeah - you figure that the girls the dudes dragged to watch Top Gun need to get their money's worth.

  11. i wanted to see paulie get tony's job. seeing carmela and that tiresome priest getting smoked would've been a nice touch too.

  12. Anonymous6/18/2007

    I enjoyed Knocked Up, but also expected better. I can't wait to see I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry also!! woohoo

  13. So, Mr. Shife, was that you helping the Hoff with his messy Wendy's burger while rolling on the floor drunk in his room in Vegas???!?! :D

  14. Those dudes are gay, I play volleyball in speedos.

    PING!! - gotta love the College World Series.

  15. now i want to see these balls... if only to be grossed out... which i'm sure i would be.

  16. hey Shife
    don't watch the sopranos, but heard that people either really loved the ending or hated it.

    I have been trying to get into the CWS but it's not the same as the softball, the games take too long and are sometimes boring. Although I did become an Irvine fan after their two straight extra inning comebacks!

    Hmm I think the volleyball scene was Tom Cruise's coming out party?

  17. i think its time you post a new picture of you... give a little back to your adoring fans, you know?

  18. You're contagious Mr. Shife.

    As for the Sopranos. I SOOOOO knew that alien abduction was gonna happen!


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