Pissed off

My place of emplyoment requires that I dress business professional. So for the most part I have to look respectable and must leave the "Rock Out With Your Cock Out" t-shirt at home. And occasionally at work I have to take a piss and so that requires me to visit the bathroom and take care of business. After my business transaction I proceed to the counter to wash my hands. Cleanliness is next to godliness after all. More often than not there is huge pile of water all over the counter. Evidently the counter doubles as a bath for wayward animals when I am not around or something. Seriously, I swear there is a water fairy that comes in every day and just shoots his watery load all over. Anyway when I brush up against the counter I get water spots all over my pants. So it looks like pecker tracks or like I pissed myself. We only have hand towels in the bathroom so I have to grab the towels and start cleaning up the mess. I look like a perv when some dude walks in and I am going to town on my pants trying to dry up the spill. And if I get too carried away then somebody wakes up and that is a whole different problem. They need to invent some sort of guard that can run along these counters so you don't look like you pissed all over your self. I imagine something like a hockey rink where they have the glass all around the rink. I don't know it is just my completely random thought of the day.

P.S. Thank you to everyone who voted and, drumroll please, Dorothy won by a landslide. I might change it back to my original photo after a bit but for now I am going with my drag queen photo.

Have a good weekend.


  1. Great. This means I have to keep my end of the bargain, and well...you know.

  2. I like this story. Of course, I liked it even more the first time I read it... ;)

    Have a good weekend Mr. Shife.

  3. Anonymous6/29/2007

    You know that water fairy visits the women's bathrooms too!!! But you're probably taller than I am, so I get the water on my shirts when I'm leaning in washing my hands. I always wipe off the counter when I'm done, why can't everyone do that????

    I'm glad the Dorothy pic won! It's great!

  4. Dorothy, you've changed...

    Yea, hate it when people can't clean up after themselves. Know what's worse then water? Toothpaste.

  5. i thought my cracker factory was tough with a "business casual" dress code.

    is your building maintenance contracted out with an annual letting of the contract? low bids can result in "crappy" cans.

    do you remember the old snl skit about peenie pads?

  6. haha that sucks, you should totally invent that/

    Dorothy nice

  7. That's the problem at pretty much every single men's restroom out there. You turn on the water, and it shoots out with the power of a high-powered rifle.

    I've actually used the air dryer turned down to dry my pants. Guys walk in laughing at me...until they turn on the faucet themselves.

  8. De ja vu.

    you could try my approach next time. it works grerat. wash your hands naked.

  9. well look at it logically.. When your in a "public" restroom you wash, reach for the soap (to the right at my workplace) with dripping hands, you then wash and rinse the soap off, then reach for the paper towels (to the right at my workplace). Now you have dripped both the the left and right of the sink. If it was just one person like at home it wouldn't be that much (not to mention you would use the towel to wipe up). At work there are a lot of people using it and those drips add up quickly.

  10. Anonymous6/29/2007

    haha thats awesome - I so know what you are talking bout - that even happens in the women's restroom and by my surprise....I caught a culprit one day

    there were these two women of a particular culture that were in there and i guess wearing all that garb, they get hot and want to rinse off, they were draggin water to the stalls to, to rinse their legs too, it was weird, anywho...

    happens in our restroom too! ;)

  11. Yeah that happened to me too....looked like I peed my pants. I haven't done that for about 2 years now.


  12. Anonymous6/30/2007

    You have been looking like a supermodel in bizcaz..so wear the underoos and rock out cock out shirt under all that junk, turn down your wee blinds, put on some ....vaha and dance like no ones watching, even though big brother just might beeeee. bwaahhhaahaha...

  13. Yeah, I hate accidentally brushing up against the sink.

    I'm having de ja vu.

    Have a good weekend!!

  14. The ladies room isn't any better! Yeehaw for Dorothy. It's a classic.

  15. hey Tiger, i believe congratulations are in order....


Post a Comment