- Me and Mrs. Shife are heading to
to celebrate March Madness, St. Patrick’s Day, and someone’s birthday. Mostly we are going to celebrate my lovely wife’s birthday but it works out kinda nice that all this other stuff is going on. Las Vegas
- Due to our vacation, I will probably be out of the blogosphere for about a week. If I am not back in a week, just wait longer.
- Would it be ironical if after you donated blood you needed a blood transfusion but they were out of your blood type?
- This is also very ironical
- In case you ever wanted to know how liposuction worked
- I am running 7 miles at a pace of 7:24 per mile currently in my half-marathon training. I have about 8 weeks to go until race day. My goal is to complete the race in less than 100 minutes.
- Sorry to get political but Bill Maher had an excellent analogy about the
U.S.surge currently going on in and how the administration and right-wing media are gloating about the decrease in violence. He compared it to how an abusive husband quits beating his wife when the cops are on the front porch or a guy quits screwing his secretary when his wife walks in on him. It will be interesting to see what happens when the surge is over. Baghdad
- It was a close call about the name for my softball team but we decided to go with Scared Hitless. Thanks for all of your input.
- Joke of the day
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too