Friday, March 30, 2007

Gettin' Jiggy with P Diddy

I guess it isn’t “All About the Benjamins” with P Diddy.

P Diddy revealed that he had sex with his lady friend for 30 hours. I know guys like to brag about their exploits in the bedroom but sweet Lincoln’s mullet that is ridiculous.

When I first heard this story I thought maybe P Diddy was having a telethon for less fortunate vaginas that came from broken homes and needed some help. But it turns out he was just having sex with his long-time girlfriend. Good sex is great, but if you can’t wrap it up in less than 30 hours then I must have missed something when I was reading the letters to Penthouse.

I am older and more experienced now, but to get my cash and prizes to play the Gong show for 30 hours I am going to need to shoot cocaine into my penis, pop a blue pill, have a steady IV of Red Bull, and an army of masseuse midgets to keep the blood flowing and muscles loose.

And this is not taking into consideration the lady friend and her kitty. 30 hours of handling is definitely going to make the cookie crumble. I just think most ladies are going to close the fun tunnel after a few hours or they are going to be shouting their safe word of “Cinnamon” because the poonanni is sore.

If this is indeed true then P Diddy redefines the term staying power. But I am pretty sure if I told Mrs. Shife that I wanted to be a 30-hour man she would tell me to go screw myself.
Ha, you see what I did there.

Have a great weekend.

11 comments:

mist1 said...

What ever happened to the good ol' days when I could get laid in four minutes? Four minutes is just about perfect. It's not enough time to mess up my hair and make up, so I can go out after I leave Him snoring in His bed.

The Duck said...

Woo hoo! Let's hear it for original content! Good post shife. I'm fairly certain he's exaggerating, because I'm can't imagine the chafing that would eventually occur with that amount of friction. Lube or no. Yeesh.

the rube said...

p diddy don't lie!

he just forgot to mention that he was refering to martian hours.

1 martian hour = 1 earth second

angel, jr. said...

Someone is telling a tall tale. And why would he desrespect his woman like that--gentlemen don't kiss and tell.

Tina said...

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

I am howling here - can't stop laughing. I gotta show this to J. You are tooo friggin funny! I luv it!

30 hours eh? That girl in the pic looks like she could take it haha but for moi - I prob couldn't walk for days ....hmmm...but that may be ok by me.
Haha :P

Jon said...

I believe a certain amount of braggadocio is in play here. And I think I'm being very kind with that statement. Very kind.

Nutz On A Roll said...

who would want to have sex with p diddy anyway,,,,,gross!

Blonde said...

30 damn hours. Who has that kind of time? I am lucky if I have 30 minutes in my day to be naked with a man and/or masturbate.

Honestly, I wouldn't want 30 hours of sex. The kitten is delicate and when she has had enough, the party is o-v-e-r.

I hope she wasn't stuck blowing him long...that is the worst.

GrillTech said...

One would have to think that if it was a 30 hour marathon there had a be a lot of position changes and (how to word this delicately) orifice changing?

Unless it was more like a wrestling round in a tag team match and they could tag out.

Phats said...

Wow pdiddy rocking the house! Loved the line about the vagina telethon too funny.

have a good one

The Duck said...

btw, i love how he drops the model of his car while discussing his vacation.