Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
And it is about time that smart people like us (yes, that’s you faithful blog reader) tell the big dummies how we really feel about them. So here are some phrases to help you combat ignorance and try to make the world a better place. Phats I hope you find these especially useful since you must deal with Hoosier fans on a regular basis.
- Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission
- Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
- Save your breath ...You'll need it to blow up your date.
- You should learn from your parent’s mistakes - try using some birth control.
- Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
- Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice ...
- Well, they do say opposites attract ... so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
- I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
- You look as confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market
- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception
- You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
- Everybody has a photographic memory. You simply don't have the film.
- You! Off my planet!
- See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
- Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?
- You're the kind of man that is a blueprint for building an idiot.
- I'd like to leave you with one thought ... unfortunately I am not sure you have anywhere to put it
- This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
- So now we know why some mammals eat their children ...
Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.
Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.
Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.