Thursday, February 15, 2007

Anna Nicole, Astro-Nut, and the Killer Klown theory


So have you had enough of Anna Nicole Smith yet?
Here is my crackpot theory on what happened to her. Since NASA was getting a lot of bad publicity thanks to the Astro-Nut, they needed another media firestorm. So their PR people dumped all of the variables into the NASA SGITM Altix™ 3000 supercomputer (I honestly tried to be a smart ass and make this up but there really is a NASA supercomputer) to figure out what event could divert the media away from the "astronaut lady who drove 900 miles in adult diapers soon to be a Lifetime movie of the week” frenzy. And the supercomputer spit out two scenarios: Justin Timberlake suffers an unusual erectile injury or the death of Anna Nicole Smith. So they flipped a coin, let the Killer Klowns from Outer Space out for a few hours to do their bidding, and now we are in day 7 of the Anna Nicole Smith media blitz. Those folks at NASA are pretty smart … they did put a man on the moon (allegedly) after all.

And today’s reason to drink: In 1764, the city of St. Louis, Missouri was established today. Have an American beer, because St. Louis is where Busch established his brewery in 1857.


P.S. This post was written in support of the "Ass Clown is way better than Ass Hat" movement.

18 comments:

Phats said...

I don't know Shife I usually agree with ya, but I am still going with Asshat!

The astronut is such a fascinating story.

ruby rocks said...

it would have been uber impressive if nasa could have put anna on the moon.

ralph cramdon could have done it!

The Duck said...

Ass hat forevah!!!

KnitTech said...

Couldn't NASA have wacked both Justin and Anna?

The Astronut wouldn't qualify for the Lifetime Movie of the Week, but she will be appearing in one of the Crime Shows.

mist1 said...

Clowns scare me.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Killer Clowns from Outer Space was BRUTAL. I remember the blond from Weird Science in it.

angel, jr. said...

I thought Justin already had erectile dysfunction problems with females.

Phats said...

Angel HAHA! funny

how is quincy doing shife?

Mr Shife said...

Quincy is doing fine. He can get in and out of his doggie door by himself. He still sits funny but that might be because he is a fat basset. Thanks for asking Phats.

damasta said...

One more vote for Asshat! :) Why do the nuts always have to come from Houston? HuH??

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

There's a website touted by my slightly off-balance Methodist minister uncle that claims the Astronut was arrested to prevent her from making her way to Europe to study some form of object in the sky sighted by an observatory. And you guessed it--the 900-mile attempted murder trip is a way to shut her up, discredit her from going public about the endtimes, yadda yadda, etc, et al, ad nauseum. Can't find the link, but thats likely a good thing, since I don't even want to remember that bullshit.

Design Goddess said...

Assclown!!!

Justin's MALE?!?!?! :D

Blonde said...

i am so over the Anna Nicole thing. She wasn't a real celebrity, she was the joke kind. She was headed to the Surreal Life route.

I don't like clowns. Clowns are scary

HSG said...

This really isn't related to this post, just wanted to share some Hoff love...

Molly said...

I'm all for bringing back Ass Clown.

I must admit that I would watch that movie...for some damn reason I will watch just about anything if it is on Lifetime weekend afternoons.

tina said...

Ah, yet another reason I don't watch news on TV and stick to top stories in sections I choose on BBC or CNN.com -

but sigh, they always ask us in grad class - so whats new in the news and of course we talk about the latest law gossip which happens to be Anna Nicole's life now....who gives a F :)

Woooohoooo Goooo Assclowns! ;)

Nutz On A Roll said...

Have you ever been to the Busch Brewery? Fun place and two free beers!

The Phoenix said...

The Lifetime movie will be titled...

"My Lover, the Space Cadet..."