The Purina Diet

Looking for the next big thing in diets? Well this might be the one.

A woman was in Target buying a large bag of Purina for her Labrador retriever and was in line to check out when a twenty-something woman behind her asked if she had a dog.

On impulse, the woman told her, “No, I am starting The Purina Diet again.” The woman continued on by stating that she probably shouldn't be on the diet again because she ended up in the hospital last time. She had lost 50 pounds before she was awakened in an intensive care unit ward with tubes coming out of most of her orifices and IVs in both arms.

The woman told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is you load your pant pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so the woman was going to try it again.

Now by this point in the story practically everyone in the line was completely enthralled with the woman’s story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, the twenty-something girl asked the woman if something in the dog food had poisoned her and was that why she ended up in the hospital.

The woman said no . . . . “I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.”

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.