Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Purina Diet

Looking for the next big thing in diets? Well this might be the one.

A woman was in Target buying a large bag of Purina for her Labrador retriever and was in line to check out when a twenty-something woman behind her asked if she had a dog.

On impulse, the woman told her, “No, I am starting The Purina Diet again.” The woman continued on by stating that she probably shouldn't be on the diet again because she ended up in the hospital last time. She had lost 50 pounds before she was awakened in an intensive care unit ward with tubes coming out of most of her orifices and IVs in both arms.

The woman told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is you load your pant pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so the woman was going to try it again.

Now by this point in the story practically everyone in the line was completely enthralled with the woman’s story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, the twenty-something girl asked the woman if something in the dog food had poisoned her and was that why she ended up in the hospital.

The woman said no . . . . “I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.”


I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

15 comments:

Emily said...

Okay, that is an old one Matt. LOL

My brother lost a significant amount of weight a few years back through, duh, diet and exercise. He said people would ask him all the time how he lost it and he would start in on this story about "these magic pills I got from my doctor" lol.

mist1 said...

I recently tried my cat's food. Salmon dinner. Not bad on a cracker.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

HAHAHA

Happy New Year Shifey to you and the Mrs.!

Tina said...

HAHAHAHA

I dunno what I would have done - I can be pretty gullable - but of course the last point i might have wet myself from laughing so hard and they would need to lay down the puppy papers behind me...

bozette said...

That would be soooo nasty.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW Dog food.

Suzanne said...

EM, Really? hehehehe

ruby rocks said...

that purina sounds good. a certain human tends to buy whatever is on sale.

supersize me please.

angel, jr. said...

Funny!!! I about crapped in my pants. I peed a little though.

OldMan said...

Lamb and Rice is good for my skin but as for dieting,,, unlss your burning those dogfood calories it will not help.

LBseahag said...

This was a new one to me....

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I tried a butt-licking diet once. Just once.

Jon said...

The sad thing is that not only did the 20 something girl believe her, it's that there are actually people who taste-test dog food, for a living.

Phats said...

HA! that is absolutely hilarious, thanks for the laugh

The Phoenix said...

I would've been on the floor laughing until I passed out.

Design Goddess said...

ha!

Although I've heard of people eating dog biscuits though. Eeeeeew.