Stupid is as Stupid does

This may or may not be a regular feature, but I proudly present to you my nominees for “Jackass of the Month” for November. I will announce the winner sometime next month based on your votes.

Nominee #1
A man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When the travel agent pulled up the reservation, she noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When she asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

Nominee #2
A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle.

Nominee #3
Here’s the situation: You’re too drunk to drive yourself and your son home. What do you do?
a. Attach feathers to each other and learn how to fly
b. Call a cab and make the little guy pay for it to teach him a hard, simultaneous lesson about life, money and how he won’t have much of neither
c. Vomit
d. Let the little guy drive

Nominee #4
The traditional version of the Scientology wedding that Tom Cruise and his anointed will have Saturday includes telling him that girls need "clothes and food and tenderness and happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" and telling her that "young men are free and may forget" their promises.

Nominee #5
Relatives of the victims in the Simpson slayings case are lashing out at the planned publication of a book by O.J. Simpson in which he discusses how he would have committed the killings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

So please place your vote accordingly in your comment.

Nominee #1 – Rental car moron
Nominee #2 – Kidnapping moron
Nominee #3 – Drunk moron
Nominee #4 – Wedding moron
Nominee #5 – Hypothetical murder moron