Thursday, November 16, 2006

Stupid is as Stupid does

This may or may not be a regular feature, but I proudly present to you my nominees for “Jackass of the Month” for November. I will announce the winner sometime next month based on your votes.

Nominee #1
A man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When the travel agent pulled up the reservation, she noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When she asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

Nominee #2
A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle.

Nominee #3
Here’s the situation: You’re too drunk to drive yourself and your son home. What do you do?
a. Attach feathers to each other and learn how to fly
b. Call a cab and make the little guy pay for it to teach him a hard, simultaneous lesson about life, money and how he won’t have much of neither
c. Vomit
d. Let the little guy drive


Nominee #4
The traditional version of the Scientology wedding that Tom Cruise and his anointed will have Saturday includes telling him that girls need "clothes and food and tenderness and happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" and telling her that "young men are free and may forget" their promises.


Nominee #5
Relatives of the victims in the Simpson slayings case are lashing out at the planned publication of a book by O.J. Simpson in which he discusses how he would have committed the killings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."


So please place your vote accordingly in your comment.

Nominee #1 – Rental car moron
Nominee #2 – Kidnapping moron
Nominee #3 – Drunk moron
Nominee #4 – Wedding moron
Nominee #5 – Hypothetical murder moron

15 comments:

Mr Shife said...

This is a pretty easy one for me because OJ's stupidity almost makes him jackass of the year.

angel, jr. said...

The drunk driver.

tina said...

Oh wow, I was going to go for drunk guy, then thinkin that if it was "jackass" was gonna go for Cruise weirdness, but ohhh my the last one takes the cake. OJ is the moron/JACKASS of the decade for that one! Good gawd.

Phats said...

OOO i vote #4!

The picks are up, thanks for participating!

Denise said...

This is a hard choise. They're all dumbasses.

I guess I'll go with #5.

ruby rocks said...

#4, i wish i had a wedding like that.

LBseahag said...

this rental car moron says thank god you are back, i was having a hard time by myself out here in space...

bitch.

Max said...

Just for sheer horror value, I'm going with the drunk driver.

nicole said...

Thanks for reminding me. I wrote a post last night and totally forgot to hit publish!

Have a good weekend yourself. ;)

Design Goddess said...

I vote for the guy with the Nair! What a nut! (no pun intended....ok, so it was intended) :D

Sophie T. Mishap said...

Got to go with OJ all the way.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

OJ for sure - dude's just gotta stop smokin' crack (allegedly allegedly). Stupid shite like this is going to get his ass kicked by an angry mob one of these days.

Phats said...

9-3 record not bad shife, not bad! and the cardinals won today

Molly said...

It is a tough call...but

I'm going with OJ, because I saw a picture of the book cover and the "IF" is in white and the "I DID IT" is in bright red...

Mr Johnson said...

I"m gonna have to vote for Katie Holmes marrying the whacko..